Jokes???

[WirralBoy]

[Big J]

[Oldfeller]

[Oldfeller]

Pt 2, John drives the "Rapid Transit",

So I have this RS 3.1 transit and I'm getting a fair bit of work, bit of felling, bit of landscaping, turf,tarmac, kerbstones, and John is almost always up for a bit of extra cash, so we getting a few recommendation jobs,  you know the sort of thing, do a nice job in an area and get a few people inquire if you can give them a quote for whatever they want doing,

so John has the gift of the gab and gets a good few jobs, people are always at ease with him, despite his huge frame and ability to pick up two club brawlers one in each hand  by their belts and carry them outside, he can be quiet,polite, reassuring,and of course not forgetting the massive sense of humor.

Well he's got us this "small job" which according to him we can complete in an evening, all we need is the transit, a decent mower or flail, and all we have to do is clear  this "small" bit of ground from a bit of rough grass and cart it away on the truck,, sounds simple enough eh?

so I hook up the trailer, load up the ride on and off we go, 15 miles and we are soon there, I'm looking at a group of small houses scattered around,"which one is it John?"

"none of these, it's round the back, follow me," and with that he's off on the ride on, so we go down this overgrown lane by the side of one of the nearby houses and there it is,,,, the "small" job,, all 5 fecking acres of it! its knee high grass, thistles, small seedlings, and as everyone had dumped all their garden waste on it huge patches of various flowers and stuff which had self seeded or taken root  including this massive Buddleja bush.

"we ain't gonna get this done in five minutes John", 

"we'll be ok, you cut I'll load, and we can swap over in a while"

"better get cracking then" and with that I set the mower to cut and blow it out the side, this we had soon found was the best way as with the grass box on you went 5 yards and it was jammed, it didn't take long before the transit was full and bulging, "now what we gonna do, if we gotta keep driving to the yard to dump the loads I'm gonna be needing to fuel up, the job will end up costing us money"

"I know a place not far away, I'll take it"

"ok but take it easy, you know that truck can get a bit squirrely on the back end".

I watch as the transit almost covered in grass, foliage and semi wild flowers disappears from view, and continue cutting, literally 5 minutes passes and John's back,, the truck is empty.

"feck me that was quick John"

"yeah well it wasn't far" and he's loading it up again,, soon as it's full he's off again.

so after about the 5th load, I said, " you wanna have a go on the mower John?"

"no I'm good, I like driving the truck"

"well ok if your sure"  and we continue, It's now 9.30 at night, light is fading fast but we can see the end in sight, "one more load ought to do it John,"

and it did, just, John off to unload the last load, I drive the mower onto the trailer and chuck the remaining  rubbish on with it. while I'm loading up the tools, fuel cans etc, the lady and her husband arrive on scene, "oh my, doesn't it look different, so much better, and bigger too. I'm glad you're pleased with the result.

yes thank you and the husband hands me the envelope. John arrives and after a brief chat we decide we better get going as we gotta get back to yard and put it all away. as we leave I say to John is their room for the last bit on the trailer at your dumping spot? "no it's full now"

"ok we'll just take it home and sort it in the morning", I said.

we get home drop the trailer, and there's just enough time for a quick one at the local. half way through his second pint, John announces,"that truck don't hang about does it"

"yeah, pretty rapid ain't it, where did you dump all those loads by the way, you didn't take long"

John lowers his voice, "just off the bypass" he whispers,

"what bypass?" 

"the one their building"

"but it's not open yet"

"I know, I moved the barriers and dropped one side down then drove down the new bit of road, all the grass and stuff blew off onto the side, and then I kept doing that along the whole length both sides,,, I had to go a bit fast"

"how fast John?"

"don't know speedo only goes up to 90mph"

In the following spring, the new bypass opened, and everyone said how lovely the verges looked with all the flowers that "the council" had planted, especially the intermittent Buddleja bushes.

 

[WirralBoy]

[farmer rod]

[WirralBoy]

[Bolt]

[Bolt]

[eggsarascal]

Mogadon Monday...

 

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Deefa the proper nosey neighbour..