Is it possible to get wood for logs

[Mike Hill]

6 minutes ago, GarethM said:

Dear Nigerian prince, where should I post my firewood. Will a facsimile of one of my finest be sufficient to secure your freedom?

 

I only ask of you one bank account numbers my darling friend trusted.

After payment of the moneys is made to release the torrent of firewoods to your household for all of your burnings desired.

[doobin]

You guys are too good at this!

[GarethM]

Dear Nigerian prince, as a loyal countryman such as myself. I fear I might be unable to give you those details as I think my wife and possibly the bank manager have planned my demise as the plane might be crashing. Unlike my wife, bank manager and possibly a recently added FBI agent are much more Christian than I.

 

I fear all is lost and they will take all my gold.

[petercb]

3 hours ago, GarethM said:

Dear Nigerian prince, where should I post my firewood. Will a facsimile of one of my finest be sufficient to secure your freedom?

Thank you for the facsimile of your wonderfull firewood. My kidnappers have burnt this and find it burns too quickly so have upped the ransom so can you please send many more facsimilies please. Can you also send details of your Woodsure membership so they can be assured regarding moisture content. My prayers are with you.

[GarethM]

How many facsimiles equals a builders bag and have they got enough kindling ?.

 

I would not want to short change them and risk my woodsure certification or the sacred life of a prince amongst my people.

 

Can you facsimile by return a proof of life as I would hate to engrage your father as he has many sons, wives and daughters and they are all selling jewellery to pay the ransom.

[Stubby]

4 hours ago, GarethM said:

How many facsimiles equals a builders bag and have they got enough kindling ?.

 

I would not want to short change them and risk my woodsure certification or the sacred life of a prince amongst my people.

 

Can you facsimile by return a proof of life as I would hate to engrage your father as he has many sons, wives and daughters and they are all selling jewellery to pay the ransom.

Just need to figure out how to introduce fish in here and we have the complete thread .🙂

[petercb]

1 minute ago, Stubby said:

Just need to figure out how to introduce fish in here and we have the complete thread .🙂

Nah you've forgotten Ivy.

[GarethM]

My prince I fear I have committed a grave error in my facsimile and realise why they burned through it so quickly and your captor's dissatisfaction.

 

In my eagerness to secure your freedom I mistakenly sent a facsimile of a kiln dried log.

 

As a good Catholic Nigerian, fish would be for Friday's and not a Thursday. Amen.

[Stubby]

9 minutes ago, petercb said:

Nah you've forgotten Ivy.

And/or Hornbeam 🙂 ( maybe that is going back too far for you ? )

[petercb]

4 minutes ago, Stubby said:

And/or Hornbeam 🙂 ( maybe that is going back too far for you ? )

Sounds like I should be grateful to have missed that one