Environmental vandal (mother in law rant)

[spandit]

About 4 years ago I planted a hawthorn hedge along our field up to the gate, to stop people coming up the drive and going in. We've since put gates in further down the drive and my mother in law, who unfortunately lives with us, is complaining the hedge ruins her view (of another hedge). She is adamant that it will be grubbed up (I've managed to delay it until the winter but she's frantic to get rid of it, out of spite, largely). I've even checked with the council as I'd read that hedges bordering fields were protected but sadly they don't have a problem with it being removed. Just makes me so effing angry that my hard work and expense are going to be destroyed so she can look at more of the field than she can already see.

 

 

I won't even post pictures of what she's done to the garden (we bought the house off a florist and it was stunning, now it looks as if ISIS have paid a visit) and I've lost count of the number of mature shrubs she's hacked down.

 

Just having a rant. Sorry.

 

[Mark J]

You could compromise and cut it down to the top of the fence height, then it's a case of keeping it going until she forgets about it. If she's hell bent on killing it, there isn't really a great deal you can do (in real life).

Edited October 19, 2018 by Mark J

[Bunzena]

Crikey - she's one!

 

Perhaps adapt the 'man-in-the-suit-and-HiVis' story.

 

"I'm sorry madam - there's a 30" sewer running in there under the roots - removing the hedge could cause a massive flood of the brown stuff down into your property"

 

"Removal might be possible, but did you know about the Traveller camp that's planned in the opposite field?"

 

"Yup - the hedge can come out.  The council would appreciate that.  We've just had to pay out to a flasher who caught his todger on the prickles last week..."

 

Don't tell me one of those won't work...

 

 

[josharb87]

Sorry (not really, just trying to be polite) but sounds like you need to grow a pair. 

 

If if she does something in the garden you don’t like, when you see it, raise your voice and remark “what fucking idiots done that?” When she replies it was her just keep with it, ask her wtf was she thinking? Imagine your giving a child a telling off! 

[spandit]

We've discussed cutting it lower but she wants it gone, apparently being against it from the start. The view beyond includes a power transformer and the corrugated iron siding to our neighbour's compost heap as well as a couple of his sheds. 

 

She murmured yesterday about cutting down a mature hedgeline so that she could see the sea more clearly on the two days a year it's clear enough to actually see with binoculars. We'd have to see about getting the South Downs relocated too but she could just sit on them 

[spandit]

1 minute ago, josharb87 said:

Sorry (not really, just trying to be polite) but sounds like you need to grow a pair. 

 

If if she does something in the garden you don’t like, when you see it, raise your voice and remark “what fucking idiots done that?” When she replies it was her just keep with it, ask her wtf was she thinking? Imagine your giving a child a telling off! 

 

Unfortunately, my wife sides with her and we do still have to live together. Issuing a bollocking does not make for a happy atmosphere and as I work away quite a bit I dread to think what I might come home to if she was set for revenge. 

[Mark J]

11 minutes ago, spandit said:

 

Unfortunately, my wife sides with her and we do still have to live together. Issuing a bollocking does not make for a happy atmosphere and as I work away quite a bit I dread to think what I might come home to if she was set for revenge. 

Have a word with the  'father and son' team and tell them that if they touch your hedge you'll chop their bollocks off.

[Mark Wileman]

Speak to an ecologist and get creative with some play dough to introduce some great crested newt, warbler, badger, bat shit to your whole property.

 

Then she can't touch fuck all without Natural England getting invovled

[spudulike]

Some good advice on here, my stance would be that if she gets it cut down, she will end up: -

1) On the street

2) Buried under where the hedge stood

3) Being very sorry

She owns 30% of the house, therefore only 30% of the hedge is hers so a 30% reduction!

Just remind her that you will be choosing her nursing home in a few years time!

[eggsarascal]

31 minutes ago, Bunzena said:

Crikey - she's one!

 

Perhaps adapt the 'man-in-the-suit-and-HiVis' story.

 

"I'm sorry madam - there's a 30" sewer running in there under the roots - removing the hedge could cause a massive flood of the brown stuff down into your property"

 

"Removal might be possible, but did you know about the Traveller camp that's planned in the opposite field?"

 

"Yup - the hedge can come out.  The council would appreciate that.  We've just had to pay out to a flasher who caught his todger on the prickles last week..."

 

Don't tell me one of those won't work...

 

 

This is going to fall on its arse..... 30" sewer pipe?

[Mark J]

Tell her it's a memorial hedge. Mess with her head, she sounds like a reet bag of spanners.

Edited October 19, 2018 by Mark J
Too early for swearing.