Dog Fouling!!!!!!

[Macpherson]

51 minutes ago, Stubby said:

I used to be just getting ready for work when I looked out the front to see a collie curling one down on my front lawn .  I knew the dog and was on nodding/hi terms with its owner .  I used to get it up with a shovel and loose it in the brambles in a field next to me . It became a regular habit , so one day I posted it through his letter box . Never happened again .  We still nodded hello  ....?

yeah, direct action with a smile is often the best way. ?

[Yournamehere]

I just had a mental image of the poor old dog when the turd gets posted through the letter box.

 

Dog: What the fu.. <sniffs> <recoils> Jesus! get help! you're ill.

Just as owner comes down stairs..

Owner: What the fu... Jesus! you're ill; I'm changing your diet as of now.

Dog: I didn't do it , it fell through the door

<Owner looks, says nothing.>

It bloody did! I'm not going to crap on my own door mat am I?

Owner: Well it wouldn't be the first time if you did, would it?

Dog: That was four years ago; I was a f...king puppy and you know it. I'm telling you it wasn't me.

Owner: What? Just like it wasn't you that eat the last chocolate digestive and it wasn't you that puked everywhere last satdy night after you finished off my curry.

Dog: I never denied that; but this was not me!

Owner: Bollocks! Get on and do the washing up.

Dog: Bollocks to you y'c.nt I've got important things that need smelling.

Owner: Well the washing up better be done by the time I get back <slams door> Wanker!

Dog: That's right, f..ck off leave me here on my own all fucking day  OWOOO RUFF RUFF OWOOO OWOOOOOO <sits down reads paper scratches ear has a kip etc>

 

Er I think I've drifted into wallace & grommit meets biffa bacon.

 

Moral of the story: leave a note!

 

 

[rovers90]

Thanks for the replies guys - I totally understand its not the dogs fault so don't want to cause it any harm. As for catching it etc, I'm not staying up all night on the off chance it comes and I can catch it.

 

I will try the citrus and creosote mixture. I did use cayenne pepper in a water solution but that had no effect.

 

 

[Chris Day]

On 17 October 2018 at 19:30, Stubby said:

I used to be just getting ready for work when I looked out the front to see a collie curling one down on my front lawn .  I knew the dog and was on nodding/hi terms with its owner .  I used to get it up with a shovel and loose it in the brambles in a field next to me . It became a regular habit , so one day I posted it through his letter box . Never happened again .  We still nodded hello  ....?

Man after my own heart. Also putting it on a shovel, knocking on the owners door and when they open it putting the turd covered shovel under their nose and asking which lawn they would like it on is quite effective. 

 

#1 Note to future users of this technique a steaming fresh turd is absolutely essential for this to have the most effect. 

[kevinjohnsonmbe]

On 17/10/2018 at 22:42, Yournamehere said:

I just had a mental image of the poor old dog when the turd gets posted through the letter box.

 

Dog: What the fu.. <sniffs> <recoils> Jesus! get help! you're ill.

Just as owner comes down stairs..

Owner: What the fu... Jesus! you're ill; I'm changing your diet as of now.

Dog: I didn't do it , it fell through the door

<Owner looks, says nothing.>

It bloody did! I'm not going to crap on my own door mat am I?

Owner: Well it wouldn't be the first time if you did, would it?

Dog: That was four years ago; I was a f...king puppy and you know it. I'm telling you it wasn't me.

Owner: What? Just like it wasn't you that eat the last chocolate digestive and it wasn't you that puked everywhere last satdy night after you finished off my curry.

Dog: I never denied that; but this was not me!

Owner: Bollocks! Get on and do the washing up.

Dog: Bollocks to you y'c.nt I've got important things that need smelling.

Owner: Well the washing up better be done by the time I get back <slams door> Wanker!

Dog: That's right, f..ck off leave me here on my own all fucking day  OWOOO RUFF RUFF OWOOO OWOOOOOO <sits down reads paper scratches ear has a kip etc>

 

Er I think I've drifted into wallace & grommit meets biffa bacon.

 

Moral of the story: leave a note!

 

 

That’s an entertaining, but wholly unrealistic scenario....

 

The dog, at some point in that discourse, would have licked its ass or balls as a natural distraction from the nagging....

 

And they call it a dogs life!

[Stubby]

The fact of the matter is this .. He knew

 , that I knew , it was his dog leaving the " lawn sausages "  He knew that I posted his dogs Richard back to him .  I knew that he knew I did the posting .  The end result was no more Richards on my lawn . Sorted .

[richardwale]

Cordon off the area with a line of electrified tape. One nose tap on that and he'll never come back, guaranteed. Know a chap who cordons of field, chicken runs lawn areas using the same method. He electrifies it once or twice and then disarms it as the dog NEVER goes there again.

[donnk]

21 minutes ago, richardwale said:

Cordon off the area with a line of electrified tape. One nose tap on that and he'll never come back, guaranteed. Know a chap who cordons of field, chicken runs lawn areas using the same method. He electrifies it once or twice and then disarms it as the dog NEVER goes there again.

its NOT the dogs fault.

 

That's an chicken$hit was of dealing with it.

[richardwale]

Don't be so ridiculous. Of course it's not the dogs fault. It's a one time preventative method of solving the problem, and it doesn't harm the dog at all, it's a shock tactic.

Oh and pat your dogs head for writing his own post. 

 

[Lazurus]

Jeyes fluid seems to work as a strong chemical smell. not as good as it used to be but has been effective when mixed strongly and sprinkled via a watering can around our garden.