When gingers attack

[the village idiot]

Broke the bad news to Arzgarth. He is a mess, poor chap.

 

Megabitch scarpered as soon as her secret was revealed. Didn't even stop to speak to her husband. 
 

Arzgarth has now taken his head out of the oven. We've never had gas so I'm not sure what he was trying to achieve.

 

In his desperate hour of grief he felt compelled to put crayon to paper and express his feelings in prose. He has asked me to share it with you in the hope it may help others in a similar situation.

 

gonned.

 

my hart is broke in to

l feel lyke a poo

troo luv is krool

lost is my jool

 

she sleeped in my bed

then kaved in my hed

i am sad

but stil lyke my dad

 

all broke en now

lyke a ded cow

teer in my i

no kiss gud bye

 

re bild my lyfe

wil fynd a nu wyfe

not so krapee

make arzgarf hapee

 

 

If you were not moved to tears by Arzgarth's poignant portrayel of a man yearning for his lost love then you have no soul.

 

Can anyone out there help me find a new beau (not woodworks!) for our poor heartbroken friend?

 

Odin bless you all.  TVI.

 

 

[Mick Dempsey]

That’s right up there with Jilted John as a tale of heartbreak.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTKORcr1jhY

Edited January 20, 2018 by Mick Dempsey

[silky fox]

"Yeah yeah...it's not fair".....Takes me back to my youth. What a classic. I used to pogo to this in my docs and harrington![emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

[the village idiot]

Snowing in Suffolkshire today, and our jilted friend Arzgarth was still down in the dumps, so to cheer him up I took him to the counties only hillock for a spot of tobogganing.

 

Arzgarth's mental age came to the fore. He was more happy than I have ever seen him. He finally ran out of energy (and Um bongo) after 666 runs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also managed to capture a very touching scene. The rest of the Rolling Groans (Arzgarth's band) had heard about his loss and came out to meet us and offer Arzgarth some moral support.

 

They knew music is his lifeforce so lead screamer Braindead broke into a spontaneous rendition of the band's surprise Christmas hit 'Satan Slays' (It was supposed to be called Santa's Sleigh, but illiterate Arzgarth was given the job of submitting copy to the record company). 

 

Probably just as well as Satan Slays is a blistering 27 minute long death metal freakout with amps turned to eleven and no discernable time signatures.

 

Anyhow, the band's musical synchronicity is so tight that a single bark from Braindead initiates a pavlovian reponse in the rest of the Rolling Groans, lifting Arzgarth's spirits no end.

 

 

Arzgarth and I returned to the yurt rejuvinated and full of the joy's of winter. Arzgarth has snapped out of his reverie and is back to his old self again. He has written a new anti ginger protest song ('Blak is the nu Oring') on his non existant piano, and has now fallen into exhausted sleep, his legs twitching as he dreams of running back up the snowy slopes.

 

It's great to have him back. Thick as a glacier, heart of gold.

[silky fox]

Snowing in Suffolkshire today, and our jilted friend Arzgarth was still down in the dumps, so to cheer him up I took him to the counties only hillock for a spot of tobogganing.
 
Arzgarth's mental age came to the fore. He was more happy than I have ever seen him. He finally ran out of energy (and Um bongo) after 666 runs.
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
Also managed to capture a very touching scene. The rest of the Rolling Groans (Arzgarth's band) had heard about his loss and came out to meet us and offer Arzgarth some moral support.
 
They knew music is his lifeforce so lead screamer Braindead broke into a spontaneous rendition of the band's surprise Christmas hit 'Satan Slays' (It was supposed to be called Santa's Sleigh, but illiterate Arzgarth was given the job of submitting copy to the record company). 
 
Probably just as well as Satan Slays is a blistering 27 minute long death metal freakout with amps turned to eleven and no discernable time signatures.
 
Anyhow, the band's musical synchronicity is so tight that a single bark from Braindead initiates a pavlovian reponse in the rest of the Rolling Groans, lifting Arzgarth's spirits no end.
 

 
Arzgarth and I returned to the yurt rejuvinated and full of the joy's of winter. Arzgarth has snapped out of his reverie and is back to his old self again. He has written a new anti ginger protest song ('Blak is the nu Oring') on his non existant piano, and has now fallen into exhausted sleep, his legs twitching as he dreams of running back up the snowy slopes.
 
It's great to have him back. Thick as a glacier, heart of gold.[emoji106]

[emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji12]

[the village idiot]

Two words.

 

 Ben Stokes.

 

You've all seen the footage.

 

Do not approach a ginger. If they catch a glimpse of themselves reflected in your eyes they will lash out with unprecedented savagery. Mentally twisted by the sheer injustice of it all.

 

You have been warned.

 

 

[se7enthdevil]

i'd bloody well attack him the homophobic twat.

 

he gives us gingers a bad name.

[Mick Dempsey]

8 hours ago, se7enthdevil said:

i'd bloody well attack him the homophobic twat.

 

he gives us gingers a bad name.

Don’t believe the narrative of him being anti poof, that’s just a headline maker, probably no more than he’s anti bouncer when he’s pissed.

[se7enthdevil]

14 hours ago, Mick Dempsey said:

Don’t believe the narrative of him being anti poof, that’s just a headline maker, probably no more than he’s anti bouncer when he’s pissed.

alcohol removes your inhibitions nicely and reveals a person's true colours.

 

he was taunting two gay men in a homophobic manner, he may not be like it in everyday life but the seed is there.

Edited August 8, 2018 by se7enthdevil

[lewiswood]

Surely best to listen to the defence as well as the prosecution. Surely it’s their job to paint him in as bad a light as possible.