Big J

Hehe! Unfortunately I have the distinction of being the kind of cretin that as a child picked up an adder with the expected consequences. About the age of 10, wandering through the Epsom Downs with my Dad and brother, saw a snake dart across the path and almost on reflex jumped to catch it (always loved snakes but my mum wouldn't ever let me have one). Only a tiny thing, perhaps a foot long. It bit my right forefinger - stung like a bee sting. I was fine until I was told very shortly after it was an adder, at which point I panicked! Quick dash to Epsom hospital, by which point the throbbing had stopped and I felt OK. I remember being in some examination room with about a half dozen doctors and nurses frantically buzzing around, much to my bemusement. Hadn't had any numpties get bitten for several years you see. It was all quite amusing until I started projectile vomiting and passed out. Woke up on the ward a few hours later with a drip the size of a hosepipe in my arm, feeling bloody rotten. Discharged the next day (gave my mum a call at breakfast to tell her I'd been bitten by an adder - my dad forgot to tell her - mother not amused) with a hand that was many interesting and peculiar shades of blue, red, yellow and green. Being my right hand, I was unable to undertake any school work for around 6 weeks - excellent!! I've since seen many adders here in Scotland, but keep a respectful distance now!

Haha! Made me chuckle

I'm looking for someone to help me over the winter with a large felling licence on the estate I live and work on: http://arbtalk.co.uk/forum/employment/21002-contract-tree-feller-forester-required-just-west-edinburgh.html I shall check with the management if your Forestry ND is sufficient to cover you for working on the estate, but if that is the case, would you be interested in doing a placement up here near Edinburgh? It would be probably two thirds forestry, some firewood production and some sawmilling too. Drop me a PM if you are interested. Jonathan

Had an LDV tipper once, never again! Atrocious build quality and not a particularly good build quality. I think that you can be lucky with them but I would stick with German or Japanese trucks.

Apparently there is some truth that swearing eases the severity of pain: Why Swearing Helps Ease Pain: Benefits of Curse Words - TIME Swearing might be counter productive though if you get kicked in the shins by your wife for constantly offending people

My fingers are going white and tingling just looking at that old beast!

The Arbtalk clock is way off the GMT clock! Boooo!

That should about do it!

If anyone else is needing a half load (around 27 cubic foot) of mostly large burr elm, give me a shout. The second load will be down the weekend of the 23/24th October.

First load sold! Going down to Bath (400 miles in the 308D is going to be an adventure!). Still lots of Elm remaining. Not so much wide, straight Elm (up to 20 inches now) but lots of wide burr elm left.

Hi Peter, I am looking for someone to work with me on a 3/4 time basis (not quite full time but not far off). Here is the thread advertising the work: http://arbtalk.co.uk/forum/employment/21002-contract-tree-feller-forester-required-just-west-edinburgh.html Please drop me a PM with contact details if you are interested. Jonathan

It is good fun! Looking for more responses - had three so far, all have been contacted, but if there is anyone locally who fancies it, please give me a shout. Jonathan

Thanks for all the PMs - my apologies for not having time to send each of you one back. I'm genuinely surprised that people would consider travelling so far for the work! I suppose I was expecting more local interest. Anyway, I should have time this afternoon to chat to each of you, so thanks again for your interest. Jonathan

Hi all, I am requiring a contract forester/tree feller for work on a large estate just west of Edinburgh. I have been working on the estate for 6 months (live here too). My colleague slipped and put out his back some weeks ago and has been told not to touch a saw until January. So any work would most likely last until then. The work entails completing an extensive hardwood felling licence. There might be the odd larch in amongst it but very little. You would be working alongside myself in parts of the 580 acres of parkland woodland/forest that the estate has. There might be work outside of the main estate too. You would be felling trees to a maximum diameter of around 20-22 inches. We haven't used mechanic aids in work so far essentially just used ropes, pulleys and manpower for badly hung trees. That could quite happily change though! Anyway, I typically work 4 days a week, 0745-1600/1800 each day (depending on light/weather/fatigue etc). I don't do 5 days as I have other work too. What I am looking for is someone who is: * CS30-31 qualified minimum. Anything beyond that is advantageous. * Experienced * Has a 4x4 (I don't, as my colleague did) ideally. * Bloody hard working and a good laugh. * Has own PL insurance and kit. The estate are keen for the job to be done sympathetically. It is not a production woodland, rather a part of the parkland. It's more important that the job is done well than done quickly. There are other jobs that we are likely to occasionally get diverted to, such as the odd garden clearance, firewood production etc. The rates of pay are very good, and the work is highly enjoyable. It's a beautiful estate. Anyone who is interested please get in touch via PM. I will not be paying you as you will invoice directly to the Estate. Nevertheless, I am quite picky with whom I work with and if it doesn't work out, I will let you know as quickly as possible. Looking forward to responses - the felling licence is coming in next week.

Hi all, I would like to advertise a load of milled Elm. I would like to bring down a full Mercedes 308D load of green English Elm (approx 50 cubic foot) for sale south of the border. Much like buses, I struggled to get enough Elm for my kiln which went on last week but I have a full 9 trees being delivered this week as well as another burr Elm I'm milling off one of Tom D's jobs tomorrow. The Elm in question would be English Elm from Holyrood in Edinburgh. It will be of varying diameter (I've not seen the trees yet) and up to 34 inch wide straight edges boards. It has been felled live and is a variety called wheatly Elm. I have some lesser timber from the same line of trees that went through my first kiln that I've turned into breadboards - I'll post photos later this evening. When I say lesser timber, it's not the first length, but the second length instead. The Elm is wonderfully dark, tight grained with some pipping. If the first load is anything to go by, it will be of superb quality and size. I will combine the trip down south with seeing family, so there will be no charge for delivery (within reason). Please take this into account if you want to make an offer. Anyway, if anybody is interested in this, please PM me with an offer. I would be looking to make a delivery within the next few weeks. I have sufficient Elm to make more than one run, though probably no more than 3. Jonathan

Very nice - I like the use of additional bracing between the two milling rails. Will enable a much smoother run on and off. With that many trees, tree a throttle lock so that you are just holding the mill. Makes for much more balanced work and is IMO easier. I just use a spring clip/clamp. Looking forward to the pictures. Jonathan

I've heard that Oak is total rubbish too - I've a good few cubic metres of that cut and split that I just can't give away!

I use a Stihl MS260. Some people say it's a little sluggish, but on a 15inch bar it's a joy to use. Quite inexpensive from Jonesie's too.

Thanks for the continuing replies - I think that I will go to extract some. I do need to figure out a way of getting the truck in there. It's fairly non rutted track, but slippery as hell and fairly steep. Defeated my colleague's Hilux in the wet earlier in the year (only on all terrains though). Perhaps I should just barrow it out.......

I want to echo the sentiments of those that have posted here already Dave. I've not met you, but am genuinely taken back by your mental strength to stay so positive in the face of an horrific injury. All the best for a quick recovery and should you not make it back to arboriculture full time, I'm sure you'd have no shortage of work life coaching/motivational speaking!

Little clip of pole climbing on the BBC's oddbox from this week (it's number 2 of ten): BBC - Newsbeat - Radio 1's Dominic Byrne from the Chris Moyles Show with the week's weird videos I had always suspected, but it's good to know that the BBC considers me odd

Fantastic! Somehow cooler to win a big saw like that than the monetary equivalent.

I have no experience with a log splitter - only axes. 5 cube would take me a long day if it was reasonably knot free. 9 hours or so. That's using my 088, 260 and a splitting maul.

Got me all excited then - South East Scotland I could have gone for. Kent on the other hand is 400 blinking miles away!

Thanks John. I think that a hydraulic bandsaw might be a good bit out of my budget unfortunately. Worth considering a good used one though if one comes up. Kiln is finally done and closed. Bit of a funny day today milling slightly marginal timber to fill to the last half foot at the top. In the end the timber was pretty good - a 6ft length of stunningly pipped Oak and a nice straight, albeit narrow ash. Cut the Oak at 3 inch on the basis that I would produce and market lintels and mantelpieces from them. Cut the Ash at 2.5 inches because ash is rock hard and I hate it! After loading the remaining boards (huge amounts of fun loading 3 inch Oak to the top and back of the stack!) I topped the stack with some of the crown cuts and some weighting boards from the last kiln. Total in the kiln, not including the guff weighting it down is a touch over 260 cubic foot. The stack looks superb and a world away from the first one. Just a few photos today as the emphasis was on just getting it done. Exiting the kiln for (hoefully) the last time before it's dry: Closing the doors: