The new boy & old tricks at work

[Ian C]

I have a video of someone trying to bumpstart a 460, I promised I wouldn't share it online, but maybe one day if they wind me up 😃

 

Treequip won't be happy Ed!

[Goaty]

Was he from bishop burton? wouldn't catch an ABC lad falling for that one:thumbup:

 

 

Sounds like it. Can't believe no one has sued them for false advertising. "One of britains leading land based colleges " on bus adverts etc. I'm ashamed to have been forced to do 2 years yts there.

It's certainly not something you mention when job hunting.

Someone else's opinion may differ!

[Billhook]

The old favourites like sending the lad round to the workshop for a tin of elbow grease still seem to work amazingly.

 

On my first day as a student on a dairy farm, the manager introduced me to the cowman who held out his hand to shake.

I jumped about ten feet in the air because I did not see that his other hand was gripping the electric fence firmly. (this you can do with a battery type fencer)

[Billhook]

SATICHE - 0695

 

Here are a couple from this link which made me smile

 

• get the new employee to "get a long stand"...send them to a friend who tells them, "You want a long stand? I'll get one. Wait here." ...and leave them.

 

When my mother was a nursing student in England, they had a number of standard jokes. One that I remember went something like this: Nurse: "Go and ask the Ward Sister if I can borrow her fallopian tubes." (Sometimes, my mother relates, the answer would come back "Sorry, they're in use at the moment.")

[Ruskins Trees]

Worked in a office in a factory. New YTS (male) trainee was told to go down to the (90% female shop floor) and ask for a long hard screw.

 

Fortunately the shop floor was viewable from the office, shame there was no sound, we watched the lad being passed from one lady to the other.

 

When he came up and explained he hadn't been able to get one, he said they all thought one of them had one but in the end they said we had one in the office.

[PeteB]

As a kid at boarding school we had run errands for the 6th form, I got sent for a pint of pigeon's milk.

[Kev Stephenson]

When I was on the chemical works we used to send new lads to the power plant for a bucket of steam in a steel bucket with a lid on. The lads in the power house were used to this and would put an inch of hot water in the bottom and tell the lad not to take the lid off until they got back. Take of the lid and see the inch of water and send them back telling them to run next time.

 

Others include a packet of grinder sparks, new flame for the welder, a plumbers weight, or to the shop for a bag of clitoris mints