What your dad said

[jackmayo]

Flicking through the tv; THERE NOTHING BUT SH$T ON!

[TGB]

Where there's a way, there's a will.

 

Don't fall in the fish pond. You could kill something or damage the pond.

 

Don't run up and down the stairs. You'll wear the carpet out.

 

He - She - They is/are a clown.

 

Working together to fit new window casements. A friend of mine asked his father why he, (the father) had just partially crushed the son's hand and broken a finger with a lump hammer. And got the calm reply, "Why did you put you finger there."

 

 

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[lyons e]

If wit was sh.t u be constipated

 

 

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[Paulfreebury]

I was working up in a bell tower putting a ply wood floor in, my old chap was on a scaffold below re pointing the stone work and I dropped an 8x4, inch think sheet of ply it fell 12 feet straight onto my old chaps wrists edge on, he said I was a C..T!!

[adrian007]

'if yer brains were made on dynamite you couldn't blow your hat off' was the most regular

[Brick100]

1/ you go and stand over there with the others........that way I know I have all the idiots in one place.

 

2/ if I want to hear s--t, I'll squeeze your f--king head

 

3/ my old man told me he worked hard...........but he left a f--king lot for me to do

[Brick100]

Always date red heads..........they try a lot harder.

[Gray git]

Once your married son your in the ****, its just the depth of it varies as you go along.

 

advise on girlfriends, remember you can fix fat but ugly is a whole lot more work!

 

YOU DID WHAT!!!!!!!

[Mull]

'A mans not complete until he gets married, it's only then that he's truly finished'

[Ty Korrigan]

What ever Mother says to you, it was not made for pissing through...

Ty