What your dad said

[TGB]

Where there's a way, there's a will.

 

Don't fall in the fish pond. You could kill something or damage the pond.

 

Don't run up and down the stairs. You'll wear the carpet out.

 

He - She - They is/are a clown.

 

Working together to fit new window casements. A friend of mine asked his father why he, (the father) had just partially crushed the son's hand and broken a finger with a lump hammer. And got the calm reply, "Why did you put you finger there."

 

 

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[lyons e]

If wit was sh.t u be constipated

 

 

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[Paulfreebury]

I was working up in a bell tower putting a ply wood floor in, my old chap was on a scaffold below re pointing the stone work and I dropped an 8x4, inch think sheet of ply it fell 12 feet straight onto my old chaps wrists edge on, he said I was a C..T!!

[adrian007]

'if yer brains were made on dynamite you couldn't blow your hat off' was the most regular

[Brick100]

1/ you go and stand over there with the others........that way I know I have all the idiots in one place.

 

2/ if I want to hear s--t, I'll squeeze your f--king head

 

3/ my old man told me he worked hard...........but he left a f--king lot for me to do

[Brick100]

Always date red heads..........they try a lot harder.

[Gray git]

Once your married son your in the ****, its just the depth of it varies as you go along.

 

advise on girlfriends, remember you can fix fat but ugly is a whole lot more work!

 

YOU DID WHAT!!!!!!!

[Mull]

'A mans not complete until he gets married, it's only then that he's truly finished'

[Ty Korrigan]

What ever Mother says to you, it was not made for pissing through...

Ty

[Arbtech Tree Services]

I was working up in a bell tower putting a ply wood floor in, my old chap was on a scaffold below....

 

Christ, how big's your 'Old Chap' ?

 

'if yer brains were made on dynamite you couldn't blow your hat off'

 

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose

 

If brains were cotton wool you wouldn't have enough to make a Tampax for a flea

 

I've forgotten more than you'll ever know

 

Your knowledge of (fill as appropriate) wouldn't fill a postage stamp

 

You were given two ears but only one mouth for a reason

 

And a couple my Father really said;

 

There was a song once - how many nappies changed, no charge

 

and once (in jest) when i said i didn't ask to be born he replied 'if you did you'd have been refused.....'