Funny things customers say ?

[Rich2484]

Rich rule and Shane. Best ones I've heard.

 

Can't wait to walk past someone laying turf now.

 

Never had the bottle to say that to someone yet. I would never know who they really where or who they know.

[GardenKit]

I had a customer trying to decide which type of mower to buy.

 

Four wheels....,or rear roller????

 

I explained the pro's and con's.

 

He said ' its got to be the roller model as it will leave stripes, if i have the wheeled one I wont know which bits i have cut'

[treesnatcher]

Last week when we arrived on a site there was a big dog roaming all over when i asked its owner to get it out of the way he says "oh that is Danny he wont get in the way but if you kill him you got to dig a big hole!" deadly serious

No dogs were harmed that day.

[Jack Price]

A few years back I was rj'ing a London plane in Blackheath.

 

Some posh bint (Hyacinth Bucket type) came over as I was up the tree and asked who was in charge. The owner of the company stopped sawing, lifted his earmuff and asked politely if he could help her.

 

She went into a rant about how she was the head of the local society, conservation and environmental group, local councillor, head of the WI etc, etc... 'Why wasn't I informed?!?'

 

To which, the dude I was working for, responding by telling her not to be too disappointed, but she wasn't actually as important as she thought she was!

 

He then put his ear defender down and started up the saw... Haha.!!!

 

hahah what a bloke !

[rovers90]

Customer rang me last year and asked if my logs were smokeless? I replied "Yes madam...............as long as you don't light them!" I could hear her brain trying to work it out!!

 

And a funny from the letters page in the paper yesterday...a reader called Nick Parsons was registering somewhere and when asked for his name he replied N Parsons . "Is that N for Neil or Nigel?" "Neither" he replied..."Oh,thats an unsual name!" came the reply!!!

[kentjames]

Just had a phone call this morning:

 

'hello I need a tree surgeon immediately, my cats been stuck up a tree for 2 weeks'

 

2 weeks ???? :-/ ... Fire brigade finally came out and got it apparently...

 

Oh and - 'how much would you charge to get a cat down?'

 

I said I dunno I haven't rescued a cat before - going rates anyone??

[Rich2484]

Just had a phone call this morning:

 

'hello I need a tree surgeon immediately, my cats been stuck up a tree for 2 weeks'

 

2 weeks ???? :-/ ... Fire brigade finally came out and got it apparently...

 

Oh and - 'how much would you charge to get a cat down?'

 

I said I dunno I haven't rescued a cat before - going rates anyone??

 

Free rates as its a good bit of sport for the gun.

[kentjames]

between u and me, im sure the fire chaps probably used the hose on it

[White Noise]

between u and me, im sure the fire chaps probably used the hose on it

 

That's one life gone lol . Oh I heard they always land on there feet/paws

[timtree81]

Funny thing a customer just said to , any chance of a load of fire wood this evening ? Ha ha sorry it's 8 pm on a sunday