Crap Christmas Presents - Vent here!

[TimberCutterDartmoor]

No more biting your lip at the Tat you weren't most grateful for this Christmas! Here you can let rip about everything you'd love to ram down Auntie Mildred or Uncle Cuthberts throat!!! Mine goes like this;

 

1) Chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate. Maybe if I eat it all I'll go off it for good?!

 

2) A Chocolate fountain. WHY WHY WHY !!! I can not understand how a factory even exists to make this junk. Buy 1.5 kilos of specific chocolate, wait an hour for it to melt*, eat a small quantity of the liquified stuff and then drain it back into a container to cool and use some other day. Then go and try and clean the thing; congealed choc all over the place, what a mess! Wonder if I could flog it on ebay? Otherwise more junk in the loft

 

3) A candle mounted in a glass horn - nice!

 

4) A book I'll never read.

 

On the other hand, an Echo hedgecutter and some tree / gardening books were actually appreciated.

[Rupe]

Did you get the chocolate related presents from girls by any chance?

 

I have five sisters and I still have scented candles in the attic from 10 years ago! They ate all the chocolate they gave me though!

 

One year I asked for Halfords vouchers, and they refused to even set foot in Halfords and to this day won't buy me any tools or anything useful. They all have enough kids now for us to agree not to buy each other christmas stuff, its much simpler.

[treedave]

Here you go then,

1, Pack of German caramel wafer biscuits - about 6 months past use by date and they're soggy!

2, A ex-library book of kids jokes.

3, 1.5 kilos of licorice - the soft Oz style

 

Last but not least a 1/2 kilo pack of pork pate - given to my vegetarian wife!

 

But whine over cos I got an Ipod Nano, waterproof case (I'd kill it inside a week otherwise) and £25 Itunes voucher.

[Paul Barton]

We got a the Monopoly board game from my sister-in-laws mother-in-law!!! Firstly why on earth would she feel the need to buy us anything, and secondly why would she think I would want to play monopoly?!!

[Ian C]

Here you go then,

1, Pack of German caramel wafer biscuits - about 6 months past use by date and they're soggy!

2, A ex-library book of kids jokes.

3, 1.5 kilos of licorice - the soft Oz style

 

Last but not least a 1/2 kilo pack of pork pate - given to my vegetarian wife!

 

But whine over cos I got an Ipod Nano, waterproof case (I'd kill it inside a week otherwise) and £25 Itunes voucher.

 

Tell the wife it's ok............... the pigs didnt eat meat:001_tt2:

[treedave]

Credit where it's due - she kept her face straight and made all the right noises, till we where in the car and the kids asleep, then it all came out - mother-in laws etc etc.

 

You never watched snatch? re ratio of pigs to bodies

[TimberCutterDartmoor]

Did you get the chocolate related presents from girls by any chance?

 

I have five sisters and I still have scented candles in the attic from 10 years ago! They ate all the chocolate they gave me though!

 

One year I asked for Halfords vouchers, and they refused to even set foot in Halfords and to this day won't buy me any tools or anything useful. They all have enough kids now for us to agree not to buy each other christmas stuff, its much simpler.

 

You got it in one - 3 sisters and one aunt - masters at buying rubbish...

[firewoodman]

We got a the Monopoly board game from my sister-in-laws mother-in-law!!! Firstly why on earth would she feel the need to buy us anything, and secondly why would she think I would want to play monopoly?!!

 

ah the game of property, profit and business. why would you not want it???

played competitivly its the game of chance, risk and blackmail!

 

i had JD whisky, which now joins the jim bean whisky i had last year, i dont drink it!!!!

[taffupatree]

an x factor dance mat........wtf!

[Kev Stephenson]

a small plastic dog that when plugged in to the USB port humps your PC.