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How did this happen? prize for the nearest theory!


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Posted

if he's irish then it must be them little leprechauns (however u spell the word) had a battle with the wood elves while he was having his tea break- nothing to do with me boss. I wouldn't do stuff loik that. Begorra bejesus

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Posted

Ok,last clue's,remember the prize is worth having if you husky big boys! Involves 2 saws and a chair.1st prize to nearest or funniest with free postage,2nd prize is a big drink to anyone who can find me a mcconnel pto sawbench within a fortnight,3rd prize is a ms460 bar and chain :thumbup:

Posted

You were working on Uri Geller's estate, and you got the saw stuck.

On your way to the truck to get wedges and backup saw you bunped int Uri Geller. You didn't see him as you were preoccupied and swearing under your breath.

You both got up and you apologised, Uri said it was ok. You walked back to the tree with backup saw and wedges, Uri follows close behind as he's interested in what goes on on his estate.

Back at the tree you explain what has happened and how you're going to fix it. Uri reckons you're a fool for getting into such a pickle, you take offence with this as such thing can happen to anyone.

Uri reckons there's no reason you couldn't have had that tree down by now, you fruitlessly try to reason with him. Uri gets annoyed and says he'll sue you. You get annoyed but want to get the tree down and your saw freed, fearing for the safety of both man and machine.

As you're about to get back to work, Uri steps in and says:"Step back, and watch in amazement as I'll sort this with my psychic powers!" You argue it isn't save and your insurance doesn't cover Geller's, he doesn't care.

You step back and let the man do his thing.

He stares at the tree long and hard and after a while starts swearing at the tree, then the stuck saw, then you!. You tell him you'll sort it, "no worries mr Geller, it happens to the best of us". Uri is infuriated by his own failure and starts kicking and pushing and shoving the tree.... It gives.......It goes....and so does your lovely saw!

The tree hits the deck, and it's only luck that saved Uri from getting crushed, you run over to find your saw beside the stump with a 90degree bend.

You get a little cross with Uri. Uri is very apologetic and offers to repair the damage. Before you can stop him he's picked up the saw and started his act again.

The bar does not move, you try to explain about the hollow bits in your bar that might be messing his mojo. Once again Uri gets annoyed, then he gets furious and throws your saw to the floor, the bar still at 90 degrees.

You listen to his tyrade for a little bit but get so wound up that you pick up your beloved saw to distract yourself. Uri is still shouting at you, your blood starts to boil, you swing the saw and whack Uri square on the jaw.

 

Uri has finally bent metal

Posted

someone decided it would be a good idea to plunge the saw into a log as a back rest for there dinner but did not realize how much force they applied after nodding of .....then someone else thought it would be funny to push them while asleep and made the bend even worst......

Posted

Saw got stuck in backcut as tree dropped back. You've started to make another cut with other saw and the tree (ash) 'barber chairs' flicking out original saw bending bar?

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