New lad funny stories!

[Lorry thompson]

Sparks for the grinder has got to be the the original classic along with tartan paint, rubber nails and a glass hammer haha

[harvey b davison]

When i was a naive apprentice on buildings, i got asked to lay on the floor, for some strange reason i did, and promptly got nailed to the floor and left, for the gaffer to find me. ' B@"+%Ds'

[Recceboy]

No Tree stories, but a few from the Army.

 

Sending new recruits of to the QM's to ask for the key to the indoor grenade range.

or a Long Weight, Tartan paint. All the normal ones.

[Simon Rotheram]

haha just been looking for the exact same song as i was singing it today:lol:

 

if you ever get a chance to see him live go for it most comical night of my life

 

We saw him in Leamington, funny as mate!

 

N-i-g-eeeeeeeeLLL - F'in legend!!!

[Lyn Ed]

when i was still in school in the summer holidays i used to help in a local butter factory, one day one of the guys working there holding a screwdriver asked me to go and ask one of the women on the line for a long hard screw, i was passed along the line until they all burst out laughing.

[Lorry thompson]

Did you get one then? Haha

[ging]

add spirit level bubbles and falopian tubing to the list too...

[Lorry thompson]

My dad tried to get me ask a plumber for a falopian tune luckily I'd just done sex education haha

[APC]

So far, the list of stuff to get new'uns to fetch includes:

 

tartan paint

spirit level bubbles

tub of steam

leg of mince

sky hook

hard slap

long stand

left handed screwdriver

chainsaw antifreeze

sparks for the grinder

rubber nails

glass hammer

long weight

long hard screw

fallopian tube

 

 

I have been casually throwing them around for the last few days amongst my volunteers and they have seen through almost all of them (surprisingly). Upon asking for a tub of steam this morning, one volunteer did actually ask "what for?", before the look on another guys face gave it away.

 

Asking for 20 Regal though, and getting an orange, is the best thing ever.

[AndyGG]

When i was a mechanic the flux capaciter tester was always an easy one for the new lads to fall for. we sent one lad across the road to another garage for it, he didnt appear again for a couple of hours, turned out theyd sent him up the road and thry sent him on again on and so forth lol. he never found it.