Jokes???

[PeteB]

Love it! Nice one....

[nepia]

Never confuse your laxatives with your viagra; it makes you crap in bed.

[Tree Man Tom]

:lol:

[Tree Man Tom]

2 men share a room with a bunk bed, the one on the top bunk has his girlfriend to stay, they have a secret code for sex.. lettuce = to go faster tomatoes = to go slower.. so when they start having sex the woman says.. lettuce lettuce, tomato tomato.. in the morning the man on the bottom bunk says.. can you stop making sandwiches in bed next time as last night i got mayonaise in my eye!

[nepia]

Eeyew...

[Ben Ballard]

Two pikeys get married.on the wedding night,she says i've never had sex, please be gentle.The groom goes outside to phone his farther.'she's a virgin,Dad, What'll i do?

The farther says 'come home,lad,if she's not good enough for her own family,she's not good enougth for you!

[Hairyloon]

Think I've got swine flu....come out in rashers.

You want to put some oinkment on that.

[Dave Martin]

Two pikeys get married.on the wedding night,she says i've never had sex, please be gentle.The groom goes outside to phone his farther.'she's a virgin,Dad, What'll i do?

The farther says 'come home,lad,if she's not good enough for her own family,she's not good enougth for you!

 

:biggrin:

[Lurcherman]

[Lurcherman]

Don't we all love the French?

 

Bonnet de douche! It's so true. (and apologies to any International Arbtalkers this may offend - it is a Jokes thread)

 

 

 

 

An elderly British gentleman arrived in Paris by plane.

 

At the customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

 

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

 

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The elderly gentleman said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

 

"Impossible" said the customs officer. "The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

 

The man gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore on the Beach on D-Day in 1944 I couldn't find any f***ing Frenchmen to show it to!".