Jokes???

[Oldfeller]

[PeteB]

On 14/11/2025 at 20:17, Oldfeller said:

I have a story about this.....

 

A long time ago, a GreenMech Service Engineer had to go off into the countryside to mend a chipper left on a storage site. While at this farm industrial units, he felt the urge to go. The loo for these units was frankly awful so he elected to find and alternative.... The Vito van had two side doors and a rear, top hinged door. Brian decided to hover over a newspaper. He pulled the rear door down on the gas struts, had his overalls etc around his ankles, held on to the shelving and set about the process. There was a whoosh and it went lighter as the door was raised by a gust of wind. The sight or thought of Brian, staggering about, trying not to soil his overalls or tread in his product while reaching behind trying to shut the door will stay with me for a while!

[topchippyles]

26 minutes ago, PeteB said:

I have a story about this.....

 

A long time ago, a GreenMech Service Engineer had to go off into the countryside to mend a chipper left on a storage site. While at this farm industrial units, he felt the urge to go. The loo for these units was frankly awful so he elected to find and alternative.... The Vito van had two side doors and a rear, top hinged door. Brian decided to hover over a newspaper. He pulled the rear door down on the gas struts, had his overalls etc around his ankles, held on to the shelving and set about the process. There was a whoosh and it went lighter as the door was raised by a gust of wind. The sight or thought of Brian, staggering about, trying not to soil his overalls or tread in his product while reaching behind trying to shut the door will stay with me for a while!

A mate of mine did similar pete. Dropped his overalls down had his No 2 then slid his overalls back on and he only went and shite in his overalls by mistake without realising 🤣Dirty. bugger

Edited Monday at 23:02 by topchippyles

[PeteB]

19 minutes ago, topchippyles said:

A mate of mine did similar pete. Dropped his overalls down had his No 2 then slid his overalls back on and he only went and shite in his overalls by mistake without realising 🤣Dirty. bugger

Brian had been in the Rhodesian war as part of an elite unit, The Selous Scouts. He wore full overalls in the bush which included a hood as part of his camo outfit. He had to crouch down one day on patrol, overalls down while scanning left and right with his FN to his eye. Finished, used the pebbles, hitched up his overalls to find a dump in the hood! The rest of the S & D patrol was bad.....

[Oldfeller]

13M views · 38K reactions | Hit follow for more 😉 #foodvids #foodie...

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM

---

Hit follow for more 😉 #foodvids #foodie #Neutrigo #funnyvideos

 

[Oldfeller]

Giving away a horse
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.

He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am." said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.

[Oldfeller]

The young blonde was tired of being thought stupid because of her hair colour  , so decided to dye it brunette. Almost immediately she noticed a difference, people treated her better.

Full of new-found confidence, she went for a drive in the country one afternoon. Passing by a farmer's field, she saw a huge flock of sheep grazing. Entranced, she stopped to watch for a bit. The old farmer walked over to her car, pleased to think his flock had the attention of such an attractive young lady. Bubbling with enthusiasm, she commented on how many sheep he had, " There are so many, but I bet I know how many you have", she said. "If I'm right, can I have one?"
Figuring she wouldn't be able to accurately count so many animals all moving around grazing, the farmer said, "Sure... what's your best guess?"

Looking at the flock appraisingly, the young lady ticked off numbers on her fingers for a moment, then exclaimed "312, not counting the ram, which would be 313 in total .."

The old farmer, after picking his jaw up off the ground  , said sadly "I have no idea how you got that number, but you're right.. a deal's a deal, go get the one you want".

Smiling smugly to herself, off she went to get her sheep. Tucking one under her arm, she crossed the fence and was struggling to load it in her car when the farmer walked up behind her. Smiling himself in spite of the circumstances, he asked her "How about giving me a chance to win her back?" Feeling supremely confident, she looked him in the eye and said, "Sure !" 😎

Stroking his beard, and looking at her closely, the farmer said" Ok..how about this.. if I can guess your real hair colour, can I have my dog back?"
 

[sime42]

Excellent graphic design.