Jokes???

[westphalian]

Nobody on here wants to upset anyone. The introduction of this joke on YouTube has a good take on how a joke can be taken

[nepia]

Never heard of the man but he does tell a joke very well.

[Mark J]

@westphalianThere were two windturbines in a field. One asked the other 'Hey mate, what kind of tunes are you into?'

He replied 'I'm a heavy metal fan'.

[Mark J]

A gadge with a black eye sits down at an airport bar and gets himself a pint. When he looks round he sees that the guy next to him also has a black eye. After a cursory nod, he asks him how he got the black eye.

Bloke says: 'Slip of the tongue.'

Gadge says: 'Aye, mine was from a slip of the tongue too, what's the story?'

Bloke: 'Well I wanted two tickets to Pittsburgh but the lass on the counter was canny well endowed and I accidentally asked for "Two pickets for Tittsburgh", hence the eye. What about you?'

Gadge: 'I'd just sat down for breakfast with the missus, I meant to say "could you pass the toast?", instead I said "You fucking bitch, you ruined my life".

 

 

[westphalian]

Literally now have a damp patch in my y fronts with laughing so hard

[westphalian]

Different strokes and all that

I’m no expert but I think it was the crassness that made it funny. Ie the crass ending was unexpected

(Bottle of wine might have helped also)

[westphalian]

[westphalian]

[westphalian]

"gin and tonic has 91 calories. A banana has 105 calories. My doctor told me to make the healthy choice. I love my doctor."

 

[Erik]

A fella goes to the brain store to buy a new brain, and quickly realizes he can't really afford anything in the store.

He was just about to leave when he noticed an old tree-man/arborist brain buried under a bunch of stuff. Surely he could afford that? He was shocked to find out it cost $1,000,000!

He ask the sales person why the old tree-man brain was so expensive and was told that it was "like new, and had never been used".

Edited September 5, 2018 by Erik