Old Axe Men V New Axe Men .

[Stubby]

Saw an episode of the very early Axe Men prog the other day . It was the Phil logging company against Rhygard etc . Hand felling big timber on a slope and the guy was describing the various hazards involved . Said this one has the potential to barber on me and sure enough it split up about 15 feet or so taking his saw with it he leaps out of the way bumping into the camera man and apologizing . Staged to a degree but far more documentary like compared with the current load of old bollox with all the shouting and mock fighting .

[Mountain man]

Yeah, that show has definitely "jumped the shark"

[Shane]

Yeah, that show has definitely "jumped the shark"

 

Not heard that one before - very descriptive.

[Mountain man]

Just in case anyone is unsure of its meaning.

[spudulike]

Now you need to explain who The Fonz is and what Happy Days was.......for our younger members who grey up on Byker Grove:001_rolleyes:

[bobh]

And now you have to explain what Byker Grove is to the even younger members 😁

[TurtleWoods72]

What a great way to start my weekend, visualising Henry Winkler on waterskis with his leather lancer jacket and shorts jumping over a shark. Only on ArbTalk eh!

 

You're right Stubby, a lot (all) these American TV reality things bloat out of proportion and the genuine likability of the pilot and first series quickly diminish in a farce of upscaling and fake 'drama'.

 

They effectively disappear up their own Arbholes™

 

Examples include:

 

Sons of Guns - Began as an interesting insight into the dealing of simple 'southern folks' in their gun smithing business. Quickly devolved into a bullet based soap opera where power struggles and workplace relationships took priority over the guns themselves. The builds went from a custom pistol for an anniversary gift to ridiculous anti-camel rocket launchers on WW2 armoured cars. "Ain't never bin dun befow-er" became Will's catch phrase as he endlessly bragged about his no doubt brief and event-less time in 'the corps' (USMC). Turns out he was the American equivalent to Jimmy Savile and has now been prosecuted for molesting his daughter who also features in the show, as some sort of curious 'eye candy' for the workers to fight over/marry.

 

American Guns - More of the same, but as if Disney produced it, and the director was the guy who did Lassie and Gentle Ben.

This time the family, led by slippery weasel 'Rich Wyatt' a man who makes Mike Brewer look like a social worker, do similar things to the SoG crew, but in Colorado. The whole show has a slightly more 'bible belt' veneer to it, apart from Rich's daughter, an almost Barbie doll-like airhead parading round in low cut tops and manipulating drooling men to her parents approval. Urgh.

The worst thing about this program is it quickly escalated to a formula whereby Rich and his hen-pecked son Kurt (the shops engraver) fly off in his helicopter to sthe ranch of some washed up former NFL star or such like and try to either sell him $60,000 worth of heavy machine guns because they had a prowler round a week ago, or buy his $60.000 worth of vintage and antique guns for about a third of what they're worth.

 

Inevitable the deal comes down to a wager at the end, where one piece from the collection will be gambled over in a challenge. This entails the customer and Rich both shooting at a watermelon or a jar of brightly coloured water in a field in a sort of lame modern day dual.

 

If this fails, Rich will slip off his Rolex or produce a silver bar from his pocket accompanied by a stack of dollars in a final attempt to 'sweeten the deal'.

 

Unbelievably this never seems to fail as I presume you can pay for food in drive throughs using silver pieces in America these days..if you're riding a horse and wearing a ten gallon Stetson.

 

Anyway, both SoG and AG usually end with a crescendo 'finale' where the customer comes to collect/test fire their new absurd lash up. This ups the ante from watermelons to blowing the crap out of mock Tiger tanks, boats, flimsy looking wooden 'buildings' made of old pallets, and all measure of preposterous nonsence. Then as the client whoops with joy because his 12 bore mounted harpoon 'blewed up da Nazi ve-hick-al' the team all shuffle off into the sunset patting each other's backs and grinning like idiots.

 

Ok, who's next?

 

Fast 'N Loud.

 

Sexier US version of Wheeler Dealers where the Mike Brewer character is child hating misogenist Richard Rawlings, who daubed with the sort of tacky 'skull rings' and heavy metal fan trinkets from the 80's goes about buying up old cars which he then 'hot rods'.

 

The show will start with RR and his ZZ Top Jr. mechanic Aaron going to view an old car, normally a rusty relic in a barn or garage owned by a toothless coffin dodger in the sticks.

After some cringeworthy haggling where RR attempts to outsmart the seller by insulting them, their wife, their house, and their children, a deal is struck. Said car is trailered back to the workshop where all the Gas Monkey employees gather round to take the p*ss.

 

Then we get to laugh as some poor sod has to evacuate 30 years worth of dead rats and stinking faeces, before they find out it's not the car they hoped it was and Richard decided to 'flip it for a quick buck'.

 

Every other episode he buys a pile of junk from the auction while drunk, and we watch him struggle to return a tenth of what he paid. But in the upside he'll have done a 'big build' which netted him $36,000 profit, so it's all good.

 

He also sells the odd Caddilac to his Swedish trader friend Magnus who he offloads all the unpopular cars on. We get to laugh at Magnus as he negotiates in pigeon English and ends up paying double what RR did for the Caddy.

 

Did I forget to mention the burn outs? Every car that they've just purchased or finished restoring has to be subjected to a tyre shredding burnout, or if it's really lucky endless donuts in the car park. The mechanics watch in awe from the side lines, sucking back choking clouds of tyre smoke whilst guffawing like children.

 

Oh, and he always HAS to get the car finished on a certain day since its entered into the auction - like it's a criminal offence to pull out of a sale. Once in the auction it's always a 'No Reserve' sale so from time to time his $35,000 build gets sold to a grandpa for $12,500. Richard takes it on the chin and goes to the bar..and we know what happens next right?

 

There are more, but I will stop now.

 

Why do I watch them you might ask? Because American Reality TV is so bad, it's great!

[peatff]

And now you have to explain what Byker Grove is to the even younger members 😁

 

And us older members who can't be bothered to google it

[TurtleWoods72]

And us older members who can't be bothered to google it

 

It was a Geordie version of Grange Hill featuring the artists currently known as Ant & Dec.

 

It wasn't very good. Ant & Dec's characters 'PJ & Duncan' went on to record rap mega-hit 'Let's get ready to rumble' which bizarrely didn't end their careers then and there, instead springboarding them to untold fame and fortune on our screens.

 

Best forgotten really, like Rent-a-Ghost.

[Stubby]

What a great way to start my weekend, visualising Henry Winkler on waterskis with his leather lancer jacket and shorts jumping over a shark. Only on ArbTalk eh!

 

You're right Stubby, a lot (all) these American TV reality things bloat out of proportion and the genuine likability of the pilot and first series quickly diminish in a farce of upscaling and fake 'drama'.

 

They effectively disappear up their own Arbholes™

 

Examples include:

 

Sons of Guns - Began as an interesting insight into the dealing of simple 'southern folks' in their gun smithing business. Quickly devolved into a bullet based soap opera where power struggles and workplace relationships took priority over the guns themselves. The builds went from a custom pistol for an anniversary gift to ridiculous anti-camel rocket launchers on WW2 armoured cars. "Ain't never bin dun befow-er" became Will's catch phrase as he endlessly bragged about his no doubt brief and event-less time in 'the corps' (USMC). Turns out he was the American equivalent to Jimmy Savile and has now been prosecuted for molesting his daughter who also features in the show, as some sort of curious 'eye candy' for the workers to fight over/marry.

 

American Guns - More of the same, but as if Disney produced it, and the director was the guy who did Lassie and Gentle Ben.

This time the family, led by slippery weasel 'Rich Wyatt' a man who makes Mike Brewer look like a social worker, do similar things to the SoG crew, but in Colorado. The whole show has a slightly more 'bible belt' veneer to it, apart from Rich's daughter, an almost Barbie doll-like airhead parading round in low cut tops and manipulating drooling men to her parents approval. Urgh.

The worst thing about this program is it quickly escalated to a formula whereby Rich and his hen-pecked son Kurt (the shops engraver) fly off in his helicopter to sthe ranch of some washed up former NFL star or such like and try to either sell him $60,000 worth of heavy machine guns because they had a prowler round a week ago, or buy his $60.000 worth of vintage and antique guns for about a third of what they're worth.

 

Inevitable the deal comes down to a wager at the end, where one piece from the collection will be gambled over in a challenge. This entails the customer and Rich both shooting at a watermelon or a jar of brightly coloured water in a field in a sort of lame modern day dual.

 

If this fails, Rich will slip off his Rolex or produce a silver bar from his pocket accompanied by a stack of dollars in a final attempt to 'sweeten the deal'.

 

Unbelievably this never seems to fail as I presume you can pay for food in drive throughs using silver pieces in America these days..if you're riding a horse and wearing a ten gallon Stetson.

 

Anyway, both SoG and AG usually end with a crescendo 'finale' where the customer comes to collect/test fire their new absurd lash up. This ups the ante from watermelons to blowing the crap out of mock Tiger tanks, boats, flimsy looking wooden 'buildings' made of old pallets, and all measure of preposterous nonsence. Then as the client whoops with joy because his 12 bore mounted harpoon 'blewed up da Nazi ve-hick-al' the team all shuffle off into the sunset patting each other's backs and grinning like idiots.

 

Ok, who's next?

 

Fast 'N Loud.

 

Sexier US version of Wheeler Dealers where the Mike Brewer character is child hating misogenist Richard Rawlings, who daubed with the sort of tacky 'skull rings' and heavy metal fan trinkets from the 80's goes about buying up old cars which he then 'hot rods'.

 

The show will start with RR and his ZZ Top Jr. mechanic Aaron going to view an old car, normally a rusty relic in a barn or garage owned by a toothless coffin dodger in the sticks.

After some cringeworthy haggling where RR attempts to outsmart the seller by insulting them, their wife, their house, and their children, a deal is struck. Said car is trailered back to the workshop where all the Gas Monkey employees gather round to take the p*ss.

 

Then we get to laugh as some poor sod has to evacuate 30 years worth of dead rats and stinking faeces, before they find out it's not the car they hoped it was and Richard decided to 'flip it for a quick buck'.

 

Every other episode he buys a pile of junk from the auction while drunk, and we watch him struggle to return a tenth of what he paid. But in the upside he'll have done a 'big build' which netted him $36,000 profit, so it's all good.

 

He also sells the odd Caddilac to his Swedish trader friend Magnus who he offloads all the unpopular cars on. We get to laugh at Magnus as he negotiates in pigeon English and ends up paying double what RR did for the Caddy.

 

Did I forget to mention the burn outs? Every car that they've just purchased or finished restoring has to be subjected to a tyre shredding burnout, or if it's really lucky endless donuts in the car park. The mechanics watch in awe from the side lines, sucking back choking clouds of tyre smoke whilst guffawing like children.

 

Oh, and he always HAS to get the car finished on a certain day since its entered into the auction - like it's a criminal offence to pull out of a sale. Once in the auction it's always a 'No Reserve' sale so from time to time his $35,000 build gets sold to a grandpa for $12,500. Richard takes it on the chin and goes to the bar..and we know what happens next right?

 

There are more, but I will stop now.

 

Why do I watch them you might ask? Because American Reality TV is so bad, it's great!

 

Rail road Alaska , Gold divers , Mountain men ( living off grid ) Ray Meers and his ( just out of shot ) traveling burger van ...etc etc