Mr. Ed

OR: A corpse is often the start of a crime novel, A spinster resolves the crime by estabishing that the brake circuit was cut in the Carr. A thicket is the local policeman

"Margaret, are you grieving over Golden Grove unleaving . . ."

Do you mind a naïve question from an incomer to this world? Is the business model that you charge for the felling and stacking and the landowner sells the wood? Or has someone already bought the timber standing and you're working for him? And is all that timber headed for firewood now, or is there a market for sawlogs with this ash glut going on? I'm old enough not to be embarrassed by asking stupid questions . . .

Gosh that surprises me. For what use?

Funnily enough a friend of mine has just bought this wonderful building in Debenham, Suffolk, previously the Foresters Hall.

to vulgarise the discussion, what do they pay for the chip?

Sounds like you know what you're talking about with Kent, which makes them look rather naughty with their statements like: "Fuel Suppliers – We use locally sourced wood fuel to generate heat and power from our biomass power plant. The South East of the UK used to be the home of several paper mills that provided a commercial market for local forestry, it also used to be the centre of home grown fencing materials in the UK. "

Thanks Sutton! Yes, I'd love to write up the woods here, but am stressed out doing paying work in the daytime, tap-tap-tapping in a slightly abstract but sporadically productive fashion, and occasionally getting to go out in the woods themselves! Will try and do something for you all - it's getting more interesting the more I learn about it. It seems to be a very diverse little area. This is an interesting question for me specifically, since we have 3 hectares or so of nine year old ashes: has the virus got to Kerry yet? Yup. So, we may well have a bit of blank canvas to work from in the next couple of years. In a briliant bit of self-sabotage when we moved here, herself and I were disagreeing about how active our management of the new woods would be. "Man Does; Woman Is" as the poet says. I made a brilliant call and said "let's take two fields (I can't get used to calling them compartments yet). I'll manage mine 'properly' and you can let yours go to rack and ruin with neglect." It was the middle of winter; I barely know which end of a tree is which and, of course, chose the nearly 100% ash plantation, while she's got a lovely oak and birch baby-forest in blooming health while mine has bare heads sticking up everywhere!

As to being a climate change tree, one of the reasons eucalypts are abhorred in some places is because they're so good at getting all the moisture available for themselves - the water-table falls and starves other plants of water.

As an outsider in (or at best an incomer to) this world, I'm beginning to realise that the biodiversity and environmental arguments for and against, say, a eucalyptus plantation, should be considered in the context of alternative land uses, which in the situation you're positing is grain or grass - neither of which are notably diverse when done commercially. Gosh, that was clumsily put - forgive me. I'm the Henry James (famous for tortured syntax and yard long sentences) of the tree world.

My (Australian) wife reckons eucalypts are Australia’s revenge for the rabbit. I don’t think Portugal thinks much of them any more ...

Did you find new shoots from the roots? (Which sounds like a rap event)

Anyone know the case against Black Locust (pseudoacacia somethingorother)? Remarkable properties are claimed for its timber (as long lasting as teak apparently) and grows like a weed. This has led to its planting being banned in some states of the USA where it is native. Hungary has been the pioneer in selecting and growing it as a plantation tree and is now exporting it back to the USA as a structural timber. I have no dog in this fight except that we inherited a half dozen of them and they’re attractive fellows. We’re in Ireland and there’s apparently a programme to promote them as a plantation tree here.

I read somewhere that alder was favoured for watery uses, such as the pilings that Venice is built on, and water pipes and conduits, which is odd given everyone's experience of it rotting quickly. There's obviously more to this wood business than common sense . . .

Of course TVI has the option of registering for VAT or not, if his sales are <£85,000 p.a.

Ah, we tried to buy a place in Donegal, near Ardara, but it all turned to custard. But it's lovely up there, I would regret it if this wasn't such a lovely place . . .

What part of the country?

I’m like a Mr Toad of the Trees at the moment. Thank God we’ve spent all our money on the property, otherwise I’d have bought several tractors, a half dozen forwarding arches, two sawmills and enough winches to raise the Titanic. Padraig O’Tuama is coming over in the next few weeks to have a look. Are you in the trade, or a punter?

You've probably already found out about ProSilva - there's an Irish branch who publish a list of foresters who are interested in ecological forestry - they'd not only all be able to do the applications and do the plantings for you, but would give you an honest opinion on what's likely to happen if you leave it all up to nature. Where are you? We've accidentally ended up with a few hectares of new and old woodland in South Kerry, and are immersed in trying to understand this (to us) intoxicating new world. The government bungs seem good and generous, to an outsider's point of view.

I’m deeply ignorant in all matters woodland, but (and maybe I’ve been lucky) my experience with old houses has led me to the conclusion that once the conservation bods realise you’re on the same wavelength and trying to do the “right thing” some of the more irksome formfilling falls away.

I also noted the skilful avoidance of the split infinitive! Congrats.

I am a bit worried about my knees since you mention it, but we’ll get along somehow. Yes that’s one of the three patches of spruce, and a bit baffling since access is very difficult. It’ll certainly be the hardest to get out. They’re nice big trees, up to 50 centimetre at titty height. Mrs Ed wants to float them down the river Canadian style, but I’m not sure how well that would go down!

Yes it seems a very interesting and attractive place. SW Ireland - in Kerry close to the border with Cork. We get a length of river too. A photo of part of our frontage pasted below - as you can see, not exactly optimised for the angler! We’d been trying to buy a retirement base in Ireland and were disappointed twice so were able to move quickly. When I get my head around this quite varied property I will frame some questions on this forum for the hive mind in a new topic and will let you get on with the real stuff. We’d also love to meet some low impact forestry people in the area.

Village Idiot, just want to say thanks for a really great introduction to your world. My wife and I have almost accidentally fallen into possession of a 40 acre hilly wood, about half more or less ancient broadleaf, about half 8 year old oak ash and birch plantation, and just a couple of acres of quite big spruce. It’s not had much (or any) management over the last few years. We’re looking to manage it principally for its environmental value and as a retirement project. We have no background in woodland management at all, and at the moment I am the worst sort of expert, having been obsessively reading over the last few weeks, and your candid in describing your progress from ignorance to confidence is an inspiration. The essays are a joy to read and tremendously informative. Keep it up! I paste a few snaps herewith, not bet carefully selected