Dyslexia

[Stephen Blair]

Thanks guys, i know that all you are saying is true, I am not going to sit here and blame anyone, i just want to have a little rant lol, those feelings took me by surprise there tbh, i wasnt expecting that.

I am going to talk to my sister in law later and get her advice.

[Stephen Blair]

moose i had this all down to stress from my wifes first pregnancy but after reading into it more i have a lot of the traits of dyslexia i think as Andy pointed out earlier, when kids and family life come along there is just so much more to juggle.

I just used to always work to fix any bad arrangements i had made. I would spend most of my time going back to get things i had forgotten lol, thats why i work with such minimal kit in the tree, because i have usually left all the stuff in the workshop lol. I do get very frustrated and irritated by being forgetfull and clumsy in the morning, i leave the house, get to the jeep and have no keys, go back in, get my keys, start her up and then see the door wide open, so back out close the door, get in the jeep, head off, drive round the block and go back for my phone and wallet lol.

Then i forget to fill my water bottle so end up dehydrated and hungry aswell becaus ei get stressed out at trying to get parked and then just say, who cares and then go to work. Its not the memory problems itself, its the consequences of the actions or lack of them that results in problems.

Thats why now i prefer not to be busy, go straight to the cafe, order breakfast and then arrange my day with my phone and go through my list of things to do. Busy just means brain ache lol

[redmoosefaction]

do you get stressed when it gets too busy... a kind of like overload situation? I like things to tick over, but arb business just aint like that.

[Stephen Blair]

do you get stressed when it gets too busy... a kind of like overload situation? I like things to tick over, but arb business just aint like that.

 

sure do, i am so much better now that i don't try and store much info in my head, i keep it all in my Iphone, when something comes into my head i write it in my notes and set a reminder in my diary, so when i wake up each day, before i leave my bed, i have a look to see what i have to do:laugh1:

I do as much as i can thru text, it saves me trying to remember stuff, costs and addresses etc. I have fallen out with so many folk over th eyears over costs and details, now i have a list of all my coversations to hand. I do give verbal quotes but always back it up with a text or email:001_smile:

I hate to disapoint people so if i have to speak to them i always give them what they want, this can cost me time , money and lead to a lot of stress, then i get resentfull because i wish i had just said NO!! in the first place:laugh1:

[iainarkle]

Wow! Loads of great suggestions and info here. Before I started in tree stuff I was (and still dabble) in leadership and team development and worked and coached a lot of dyslexic teenagers and adults. I am also dyslexic and was lucky as I was 'certified' at a very young age and helped a lot through school. (not that i listened that much then!!) Bottom lines...dyslexia is hereditary. Either your mother or father has it. It doesn't go away but often means you are particularly creative, spatially aware and good with your hands, which is partly why there are quite a few people in this business who are dyslexic. That said you don't have to be dyslexic to find it tough concentrating on reading or remembering things.

Earlier in the thread style of learning was mentioned. Very good suggestion and here's a link to a quick and easy way of finding out. LEARNING STYLES:Find out in 2 minutes It is not the be-all-and-end-all but one part of a very complex thing.

Stephen, you particularly mention reading and memory. The reading is likely to be that you are focusing to much on the actual word, every single one, and how they 'work' with the ones around it rather than the whole context of the paragraph or entire passage. I do this a lot! Sends me to sleep very effectively and I wake up and start reading the same thing again thinking I'm sure I've read this somewhere before!! Of course I have but simply can't remember actually reading it. One trick I have found works for many people, including me, is to stop reading every word as so many of them are a waste with little meaning but 'join' everything up. Learn to skim read which take time as you have to completely trust yourself. Also give yourself a real reason for reading it. If its a policy document, book of info, etc use the table of content and the index to look up things that are relevant to what you are looking for. Often it is just the 3 or 4 pages you are interested in and the other 990 pages are irrelevant. Now, the challenge here is have confidence in what you are doing / reading. This takes time and practice. Take a book / document you know well but haven't read it for a while and skim read it. You'll find you recall a lot more of it than if you just sat and read the whole thing again. This is because your brain only needs the words with meaning to piece it together - whether you have read it before or not. Then start practicing with a magazines, newspapres or websites you read regularly. Instead of reading it word for word skim read it, scribble down, very briefly, what you understand it to say then go back and make yourself read the whole thing - word for word. Check if you have picked it up correctly. Sometimes you will and sometimes you wont. Just keep practicing until you are confident your eyes are picking up the important bits.

 

So, memory! The above will help and as someone said see if there are tricks you can use to help remember things. This is quite tricky as we will remember the things we like or are important to us. The importance is ours not if we know it is important to someone else but not so important to us, we then forget it. Memory is seated in our sub-conscience so we don't have the control we would like over it!! (complicated and to long winded to explain why here - sorry.) Basically memory is about 'letting go' and stop trying to remember. We have all said to ourselves I MUST REMEMBER THIS and in the next breath forget it! We also say someones name 3+ times to try and remember it...then...you guessed it we forget it. However, we seem to remember how big the wart on their nose was, or how stunning they are and kick ourselves for not remembering their name. The trick is to stop trying so hard to remember. Someone already said if you believe or tell yourself something often enough you will believe it. True. You are conditioning yourself to that particular thing. You need to break the pattern you have created and re-frame it. Not easy I'm afraid but worth the effort. Things like you are already doing, find a system that works - your iphone. Reduce the things you have to remember to never forget the iphone and always put things straight into it no matter how lazy / cant be bothered / inconvenient and all of a sudden you only ever have to remember two things :-)

For me I have a diary which everything goes into. If i forget it I am lost but I never beat myself up about it. Nothing is ever that urgent that cannot wait for another day or few hours until 'we' (my diary and I) are reunited.

Well, I hope this helps and if anyone want to chat I am more than happy to so give me a shout / PM and we can set something up.

[skyhuck]

I'm not sure such long posts are a great idea on a thread about dyslexia

[iainarkle]

I'm not sure such long posts are a great idea on a thread about dyslexia

 

Good point but good practice...!

[Stephen Blair]

Cheers Ian, i have looked into Freuds theories on memory retrieval, very interesting and thats how i know about the emotional tie to memories and the little red flags so to speak, i used to hold onto a lot of things because they were always there, oncei found out the reason they were there, i let them go lol.

I listened to a lot of podcasts on Freud, it was great, the stuff really sunk in, i would listen to them out in the hot tub, so i would be relaxed. I have learnt a lot about the sub concious and i never try to hard to remember now as i know its away looking for it any way.

I do a lot of my problem solving in bed when relaxed and just about to nod off, my mind just opens up and the answers just flood in. So i write it in my phone as an amazing idea can pass through or minds and then disapear for 30 years. The first bit of advice my hypnitherapist gave me was to write things down.

Also mental rehearsal is pretty much better than real rehearsal as we do not make mistakes. So i can look at a tricky job, not get to it for 2 weeks and once i am there it is easy because i have went over it again and again and fine tuned my ideas.

[Mesterh]

Havent read the whole thread but maybe have a read of Derren Browns "Tricks of the mind" has a good section on how to remember things. I think:001_tongue:

 

Joking aside it is good though but you do have to practice quite a bit like most things.

 

telephone,sausage,monkey,buttons,book..... springs to mind!

[Stephen Blair]

ha ha, nice 1. I can remember stuff from school, i mean primary. we went to a pantomine once and they made up a big word called ALLYBALLYSUGERALLEENTYTEENTYALIGULUM, now why do i remember that, and flokynockyhilipilification which means to value you something worthless.

My head is full of that stuff lol, but not what i did this morning!