unintentional innuendos

[Buzzsurgeon]

A lady customer made a repeat order for logs last week, after tipping the delivery she said "I like your wood it's nice and big" I was chuckling all the way back to the yard.

 

Just wondering if anyone else has any funny ones?

[Simon Rotheram]

Strangely enough, a woman asked about sexual innuendos the other day,

 

...so I gave her one!

[Mesterh]

Years ago on the power lines had a very camp bloke that would make Julian Clary sound macho, say the classic "Thats a huge one, you must have a very big chopper" While pointing at the tree I was asking permission to fell.

 

Made me feel like a stallion.

[armchairarborist]

'how often do you come?' meaning- when will you return to re-trim the hedge?..

'can you trim my bush?' usually followed by my enquiring if its the one at the front or rear..

all the rest are definitely not unintentional..

[Jon Lad]

I foolishly once went to look at a job pruning several large old fruit trees, the day after flying back from the U.S. I was jet lagged & not thinking clearly. I complimented the lady I was looking at the work with - telling her that she had "a lovely pear" before realizing, from seeing her laughing to herself, what I'd just said must have sounded like. Still got the job though!

[Mark Bolam]

'Can you reach the top of my bush with your long thing?' is a particularly happy memory of mine.

 

Fit cougar as well.

[Frank]

Female member of public -"what are you doing with that wood darling"?

Me - "you can have it if you want"

Female member of public - "is it hard or soft"?

[Mike Hill]

Female member of public -"what are you doing with that wood darling"?

Me - "you can have it if you want"

Female member of public - "is it hard or soft"?

 

Classic!

[Big 'Ammer]

Whilst working on a terraced street, with a wink of the eye to us, my old boss had us in stitches ...

 

He said to the old lady customer, "Well if we can't get the Landrover and chipper round the corner into the tenfoot, we'll have to shove the lot up your back passage!"

 

We were creased! :lol:

[armchairarborist]

nice, i have been known to write 'tree removed from rear' on my invoices more than once..