Jokes???

[SamanthaSunny]

[SamanthaSunny]

[nepia]

Thanks to a like to a post of mine dated 2010 my attention was drawn to this one entered on this thread those ten years ago; it's worth repeating.

 

 

 

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 1970's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.

l

The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.

The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read.......

 

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

 

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards.. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.

 

The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

 

 

 

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

 

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

 

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince.. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

 

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

 

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The prandsome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

[Mick Dempsey]

I doubt very much that Ronnie Barker wrote that.

[nepia]

Couldn't agree more Mick but let's play journalist and not let the truth get in the way of a good story!

[Mick Dempsey]

He was sometimes lewd but never crude.

Edited October 22, 2020 by Mick Dempsey

[eggsarascal]

9 minutes ago, Mick Dempsey said:

I doubt very much that Ronnie Barker wrote that.

I agree, I think Gerald Wiley wrote it.

 

[Rough Hewn]

Colonel stoopnagle may be the original,
but there are many versions including a 7” record released in 1962.

[eggsarascal]

5 minutes ago, Rough Hewn said:

Colonel stoopnagle may be the original,
but there are many versions including a 7” record released in 1962.

I read a book about him and his sidekick (can't remember his name) years ago, it's a long time but I believe they were thrown together when they worked at the same wireless station and it lost contact with its main presenter. These two came on and 'winged' it, and it worked?

[Rough Hewn]

Spoonerism’s!!! [emoji106]