Jokes???

[Ben R]

1953

Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II

 

2020

Corona nation of Queen Elizabeth II

 

 

Edited April 10, 2020 by Ben R
Trying - but failing- to get the picture the right way up

[s o c]

[kevinjohnsonmbe]

[David Cropper]

[Mesterh]

Sometimes we forget how bad it's was in the olden days.

 

 

 

This is not the worst ever Easter, says Jesus

WWW.THEDAILYMASH.CO.UK

---

JESUS has rejected claims that this is the worst ever Easter, stating that his original...

 

[youngsbury]

[Ratman]

A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London .

"I vish to buy sex viz you."

"Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour."

"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."

"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10."

Helmut agrees

So off they go the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.

"I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees."

The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested.

"Now you vill get down on your hans und knees."

This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.

"You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you."

She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying).

But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it's several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?"

"Zat," replies the German, "is ze Four-sprung Duck Technique.

[topchippyles]

Peter goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist
"Hello, could you give me condom? I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!"
The pharmacist gives him the condom and as peter was going out he returns and says,"Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike a luck there too." The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as Peter was leaving again he turns back and says "Give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eye contact and since she invited me for dinner I think she is expecting me to make a move. During dinner,peter sat with his girlfriend on d left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the Dad walks in, Peter lowers his head and starts the dinner prayer."Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all u've given us".
Ten minutes after, peter was still praying "Thank you Lord for your kindness. ...."
Ten minutes go by, and peter is still praying, keeping his head down, very close to the table. They all looked at each other surprised, and his girlfriend was even more surprised than others. She gets close to him and whispered, "I didn't know you were so religious."Peter with his head still on the table replies, "I never knew your dad was the pharmacist!"

Now dont just laugh....
pass it on...

[eggsarascal]

6 hours ago, kevinjohnsonmbe said:

Well done!, beer all over the place...

[topchippyles]

18 minutes ago, eggsarascal said:

Well done!, beer all over the place...

Thats my boy eggs get it down you,Having a cold one myself