Jokes???

[Ratman]

SEX AFTER DEATH

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.


After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
...
"Marion...Marion..."

"Is that you, Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.

Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again.

Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"

"No...I'm a rabbit in Tipperary!"

[TIMON]

[Ratman]

Had to go the Doctors this morning. Had to strip off, the Doc immediately mentioned the fact that my genitalia was perfectly shaped like a saxophone [emoji449]. I explained it was a family trait and we all had genitalia shaped like musical instruments.He was amazed and said "Well in 25 years as a GP I've never seen nothing like it,having said that I do remember a woman coming in a few years ago and her vagina was shaped like a mouth organ" I said, "That'll be our Monica"

[kevinjohnsonmbe]

Thought you might like this one @Mark J ?

[Honda]

Isn't it strange how so many Formula One drivers are named after Scottish towns?

Lewis Hamilton.

Eddie Irvine.

Stirling Moss.

Ayr Town Centre.

 

[Silverhooker]

You forgot Jackie "Newton" Stewart !!

[Honda]

Life in the Faslane…….

[Big J]

I knew a psychic once. Not a tall chap. Did a bank robbery and was never seen again. He's now a small medium at large

[Rough Hewn]

[Big J]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

 

You can't tell me that's just a coincidence!