Jokes???

[Tippin Alaybye]

With my body sweetheart they would be queuing up![emoji12]
( well the ones with fat fetishes would [emoji3061])

[topchippyles]

A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died.
Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven.
" The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful."
God grants her wish.
The next person can’t decide on what to wish for, so he ends up wishing for the same thing.
At this point a man at the very back of the line starts to laugh.
The next couple, seeing how utterly wondrous the two have become, make their wish to become beautiful also,
and the man at the end laughs even louder.
One after another, the people wish for the same thing.
The closer God gets to the end of the line, the harder the man laughs.
When God finally reaches him, he asks "What is your wish my son?"
The man says,

"Make them all ugly again!" 🤪

Edited June 10, 2021 by topchippyles

[SamanthaSunny]

6 hours ago, Tippin Alaybye said:

With my body sweetheart they would be queuing up!
( well the ones with fat fetishes would )

😂😂😂😂confidence I like it 🤗 x 

[SamanthaSunny]

[David Cropper]

[Tippin Alaybye]

Shit. I like it when I can share the odd joke from here with my wife. She didn’t get it!
Had to use my beautiful voice

[David Cropper]

31 minutes ago, Tippin Alaybye said:

Shit. I like it when I can share the odd joke from here with my wife. She didn’t get it!
Had to use my beautiful voice

So did I mate!

[Mrblue5000]

Paddy went on holidays to the Med. All week he was having no luck with the local ladies. In his hotel there was an Italian man who was having all the fun with ladies. So Paddy bought him a drink at the bar one night and asked Tony what was the secret, how do you have all the women flocking around you all day, and all night?

'It's very simple' says Tony, 'You take a banana and you put it down your speedos. I guarantee you the women will go crazy for you.'

  'Great' says Paddy 'I'll try that so in the mornin and go to the beach'.

So Paddy, next day with the banana in the speedos was on the beach early. But every time he approached a group of girls to try chatting them up they ran away screaming.

That night, back at the hotel bar Paddy spotted Tony and charged over towards him, shouting 'You bastard Tony, you told me to put a banana in my speedos and the women would be flocking around me. Instead they were running away, screaming and covering their mouths'. 

'Ah but Paddy when I told you to put a banana in your speedos, I meant for you to put the banana down the front, not the back'.

[Logdaft]

England can cut it`s own grass! 😉

[Logdaft]