How would you word it

[eggsarascal]

Some of the servicing work I do was given to me by a company I sub to. This work is all over the place, x sites January x sites February and so on, I'd like to group them all together. For example, get all the January February and March all done in January so it means asking customers to bring their servicing forward a month or two, three if I thought I could get away with it. The reason being I'm planning on getting another boat that will be based miles away, so I could come down in to East Anglia and stay here for a week or so at a time and blitz them all in one go. I suspect that most of my customers will be ok with it, and I might loose a few. So, I need to write to them and as many of you know this sort of thing isn't my strong point. How would you word it?

[Mark J]

Dear Punters,

I have limited availabiltity in the new year due to business expansion and relocation. I am available from "..... to ..." . I would be grateful if you could contact me to book your works in at the earliest opportunity.
Love Eggs.

[eggsarascal]

I get the idea, I just don't want to put folk off ringing if they think I'm miles away. This is pump serving so racing down here for an emergency pump replacement would still be a goer, although a lad I trained while we were at another company has just jacked his job and could help me out. This all depends on finding a mooring. Canal and river trust haven't got one available mooring on the Grand Union, not that I really want to give them my money.

Edited August 27, 2019 by eggsarascal

[Mark J]

You could get a 'local' landline number and divert calls to your mobile.

[felixthelogchopper]

It's obvious, Eggs. As an environmentally responsible small business, you are making a conscious effort to reduce your carbon footprint by cutting down on your travel.

[kevinjohnsonmbe]

Dear valued customer, 

 

the scale of inconvenience imposed upon my leisure time by pissing around fixing your shit has finally become intolerable. 

 

For the sake of maximising my available recreational and leisure time I would propose the following changes to our previous business relationship:

 

- whereas previously, I might have enjoyed a coffee, a chat and generally passing the time of day with you whilst padding out a 2hr job to make it look like a full days graft (a skill acquired over many years public utility employment) I will no longer engage in any conversation not directly related to task or payment. I don’t want to hear about your haemorrhoids, the new roof on your shed or your kids exam results. 

 

- I will require a full spec of your system prior to visiting so that I can ensure appropriate spares are available on arrival rather than “popping down the trade counter” which we all know actually means a 2hr liquid lunch. 

 

- I will transport myself around the site at no less than Olympic sprinter speed at all times. 

 

- I will use gaffer tape and resin to lash-up any leaks or vulnerabilities to speed my departure. 

 

- I will bang out 10 jobs a day and clear my diary for months in advance. 

 

I trust the aforementioned efficiency measures will meet with your approval as we move forward with our new customer focussed business development plan.

 

 I attach an updated schedule of fees which details the 20% uplift necessary to achieve a smooth transition. 

 

Best regards,

 

Pump it & Dump

 

 

[TIMON]

Send them an email with a link to this thread...

[eggsarascal]

35 minutes ago, kevinjohnsonmbe said:

Dear valued customer, 

 

the scale of inconvenience imposed upon my leisure time by pissing around fixing your shit has finally become intolerable. 

 

For the sake of maximising my available recreational and leisure time I would propose the following changes to our previous business relationship:

 

- whereas previously, I might have enjoyed a coffee, a chat and generally passing the time of day with you whilst padding out a 2hr job to make it look like a full days graft (a skill acquired over many years public utility employment) I will no longer engage in any conversation not directly related to task or payment. I don’t want to hear about your haemorrhoids, the new roof on your shed or your kids exam results. 

 

- I will require a full spec of your system prior to visiting so that I can ensure appropriate spares are available on arrival rather than “popping down the trade counter” which we all know actually means a 2hr liquid lunch. 

 

- I will transport myself around the site at no less than Olympic sprinter speed at all times. 

 

- I will use gaffer tape and resin to lash-up any leaks or vulnerabilities to speed my departure. 

 

- I will bang out 10 jobs a day and clear my diary for months in advance. 

 

I trust the aforementioned efficiency measures will meet with your approval as we move forward with our new customer focussed business development plan.

 

 I attach an updated schedule of fees which details the 20% uplift necessary to achieve a smooth transition. 

 

Best regards,

 

Pump it & Dump

 

 

Brilliant.

[Stuart Picken]

Right, important bit: tell us about the boat mate! Canal boat?

[eggsarascal]

13 minutes ago, Stuart Picken said:

Right, important bit: tell us about the boat mate! Canal boat?

Yes, another narrow boat. I haven't bought one yet and won't until I can find a mooring, and the fact that boats tend to be cheaper in the winter when those who think it's an idyllic lifestyle have realised it can be a right bastard in the winter months. I don't want a full length boat, something around 57' that can go pretty much anywhere on the system would suit me fine.