Will C
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Posts posted by Will C
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What van you got @eggsarascal I like classic commercials
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7 hours ago, eggsarascal said:
I want something laidback. You
Labrador, there sole aim in life is to please (after food), there easy to train from a young age but may not fit your size rule.
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Can you add “replaces Oregon ….” In such a way it gets picked up by Google
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Just please don’t lose the white basic sugi bars, they are excellent value for money 👍
good luck, that sounds like my kind of hell!
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A dwarf was drinking in a bar when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said "I’ve always wanted to have sex with a little person"
The dwarf replied, "I’m sorry, but I’ve had women say that before then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get beaten up" "It's ok" said the woman, "my husband is working away until next week" So, against his better judgement he goes back with the woman. They start having amazing sex when suddenly the front door opens. "it’s my husband!!" she said. "Quick, hang out of the bedroom window and when he goes for a shower, you can climb in and get away" So the dwarf climbs out of the window and hangs on the ledge by his fingertips. The husband comes into the bedroom and says "It’s cold in here" slams the window shut and the dwarf plummets to the ground. The woman is distraught and calls an ambulance. A couple of days later she goes to visit the dwarf in the hospital. "How are you," she asked. "Well, my fingers are broken, I’ve got two broken ankles, a dislocated hip and severe concussion," he said. "Oh dear," she said. "Still, it could have been much worse", "Much worse!?" said the dwarf. "How do you figure that out?". "Well," she said, "you’re lucky that I live in a bungalow".- 10
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I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Afghanistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of
the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on
its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last
one for my self.'
Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'
'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'
You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.
The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
'No Kidding,' he said.
'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'
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With the correct management detailed above it could survive for many years however in my opinion the ongoing cost needs to assessed on an effort/cost vrs reward basis at that is your decision. A picture showing the whole tree and it’s location could help.
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The tang on my hook has been peened over but I can’t comment on if that is correct
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1 hour ago, Mark Bolam said:
Why does it ‘need’ a trim?
Because they want to spend some £ and we want to earn some £!
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*HUSBANDS FOR SALE !!!*
A store that sells husbands has just opened,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the floors.
There is, however, a catch ..
You may choose any man from a particular floor,
or you may choose to go up a floor,
but, you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
*Floor 6: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.*
*Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your steps as you exit the building, and have a nice day!*To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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I’ve no idea what your all on about!
wockcombles
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That messes with my brain
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It will be higher in the search results than midget porn
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I think magnolia is Asian origin. Hence why it may not be in your book.
They should not be pruned until after they flower in an ideal world.- 1
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Hydraulic oil kills the eggs and the lice! You can tell I was dragged up in the farm workshop, it never did me any harm -
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1 minute ago, Dan Maynard said:
Going to create a new hollow though, isn't it?
Yarp, just as well fell it -
1 hour ago, dan blocker said:
Am I understanding this right or not? Your removing a hollow section of a stem from one tree and fixing it to a tree near by as habitat🤔. Why! It’s better left where it is surely? It’s perfectly formed and fixed? Just reduce the weight to make it safe and revisit in couple of years!
My guess would be to prevent the risk of regrowth above the hollow on a manky pop, that then doesn’t get revisited in a timely fashion.
however I would want the consultant to spec the reattachment method. I’m insured to cut them down not glue them back up again!
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Was it a good walk about eggs?
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AN IRISH GHOST STORY
This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by.
The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on.
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying ... And wasn't drunk. ...
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other.... :
" Look Paddy....there's that idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it."- 5
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A cowboy walked into a German car dealership, tipped back his Stetson and said,
Audi.- 1
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The classic car world uses walnut shell to blast bodywork with, apparently it doesn’t leave loads of dents like sand does.
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51 minutes ago, Dan Maynard said:
I was just thinking about the petrol station - pay after filling here, pay up front in the US.
With pay at pump fast becoming the new norm we are being conditioned to pay in advance. Our local Asda garage is now card only at pump, the office is closed indefinitely!
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Jokes???
in The Lounge
Posted
Have you heard of the girl who, when asked what she wanted to be when she finished school said "I want to be a table in a restaurant."
When asked why, she replied "cos I'll get laid three times a day.".