Story at bedtime

[the village idiot]

Chapter 12: Woodland Management.

 

 

The Idiot gained his feet again,

And rubbed his back to ease the pain.

"Gosh!" he said, "It would not be wrong,

To say this work has made you strong!"

 

"To tell the truth" said Lumber Jack,

All this lifting hurts me back!

Moving logs like this is folly,

I wish I had an ArborTrolley!"

 

Dog Food addressed the burly man.

"I trust you have a management plan?

I sincerely do so hope indeed,

These trees are falling not for greed?"

 

Said Lumber Jack, "For Goodness sake!

No penny profit do I make.

I sell the logs to any buyer

To fund the house coal for my fire!"

 

Dog Food sat and scratched his head.

"Why not burn the logs instead?"

Said Jack, with deep voice loud and clear,

"What a simply swell idea!"

 

"How can I pay compensation

For giving me this revelation?"

Dog Food said, with patience spent,

"Just tell us where old Gerty went?"

 

The Woodman's face went very grey.

"Just yesterday she came this way,

And tried her best to make me dead,

By bashing me about the head!"

 

Dog Food's face turned deathly pale.

"How do you live to tell this tale?"

Jack looked down most sheepishly.

"I ran and hid behind a tree!"

 

Jack could help the two no more,

So Dog Food sniffed the forest floor.

After a mile, the smell it grew.

That's when Dog Food found the shoe!

 

Sometimes life can be a bitch,

The shoe contained the evil Witch!

She floored them both with twisted staff!

Cue the drawn out evil laugh!

 

 

To be continued...

[eggsarascal]

The actual town simpleton may today always be the immune system for you to badger episode, although this individual might not be for you to jon's badger throw.

 

That's your second post, neither of them make sense to me.

[the village idiot]

The actual town simpleton may today always be the immune system for you to badger episode, although this individual might not be for you to jon's badger throw.

 

Come again?

[felixthelogchopper]

That's your second post, neither of them make sense to me.

 

Come again?

 

Reported as a spammer.

[the village idiot]

Reported as a spammer.

 

Thanks Felix.

 

Makes you wonder why people bother posting total nonsense about badgers and stuff on a tree forum!

[felixthelogchopper]

Thanks Felix.

 

Makes you wonder why people bother posting total nonsense about badgers and stuff on a tree forum!

 

Ours is not to reason why etc etc

[geoff]

When is Felix going to rear his ugly head in the bedtime story?

It's good to have a bit of realistic horror in there!

[the village idiot]

When is Felix going to rear his ugly head in the bedtime story?

It's good to have a bit of realistic horror in there!

 

He doesn't look very realistic to me!

[geoff]

He doesn't look very realistic to me!

 

Fair comment, but he is the genuine article...

[the village idiot]

Chapter 13: Unlucky for some.

 

 

They awoke to find a scene of gloom,

They hung suspended in a room!

The rope went up and through a pulley,

Then to the wall, secured most fully.

 

They noted too, and what a swine,

A candle burning through the twine!

Below their feet they both did clock,

A broiling pool of molten rock!

 

But probably the most surprising,

Tied to them, with no disguising

Were Captain Spratt and Windy Frog,

Fresh from sea and bubbling bog!

 

Across the way the Witch did stand,

A pistol raised in gnarly hand.

"I hope you like my trap, you see

I nicked it from Dick Darstedly!"

 

With these words she turned to leave,

"My friends I really do believe,

It's time to do my plan since birth,

To wipe mankind from off the Earth!"

 

With that she left through yonder door,

Without a care for the stricken four.

The rope had nearly burnt right through!

What was our trussed up friends to do?

 

The Idiot turned his head and said,

"Captain I thought that you were dead!

Said Spratt, "At length I shall report"

"No you don't, just keep it short!"

 

The Captain sighed, "When last we met,

I ended up with getting wet.

Near death was I and getting groggy,

When drifted by this buoyant froggy!"

 

"I clung to him in grim despair

And hoped he would retain his air!

We drifted on the ocean blue,

I was sure as eggs that we were through!"

 

"After a while we came ashore,

And standing there the Witch we saw!

She hit us both upon the head

And brought us to this room of dread!"

 

To be continued...

 

 

But not tomorrow as I am going to Londinium to get my fix of seriously loud Doom Metal!