lame excuses not to get to work

[scale90]

At home we were having work done by builders, they txt me one morning with the excuse that one had bad piles and the other couldn't lift his head off the pillow:001_rolleyes:. I suppose it was a bank hol and the sun was shining.....

[Shane]

A programmer I used to work with (pre-historic office job) was eventually sacked but here are two of his best excuses.

1. For not coming back after lunch break...

'I spent the afternoon looking for my car, I couldn't remember where I left it'

2. For not coming in at all.....

'I had trouble opening my eyes, then when I got to the top of the stairs a weird sort of vertigo hit me and I can't get down the stairs, that's why I'm calling from the upstairs extension.'

 

Last I heard he was fired as a shelf-filler in a supermarket.

[Ian Flatters]

Best one i had was me calling an employee and he was in scotland and decided he want a 2 week holiday. I took it as his resignation.

[felixthelogchopper]

Funniest one I ever heard was a guy who worked in the same casino as me some years ago. He had already put his notice in and phoned in to say he wouldn't be coming to work that night as there was something wrong with his eyes. When asked what was wrong with them, he replied 'I can't see myself coming into work'.

[Farmerdowling]

One of my ex employees called her line manager to say that she couldn't come in as her car had broken down. A reasonable excuse to her manager until I pointed out the window and showed her the staff member's house...

[biggarlogs]

My best one was the chainsaw had a puncture and the truck was blunt ( mild dyslexia)

[Shane]

Two of my guys have reported sick with broken shoulder bones in the last three years!

Didn't know it was contageous.

 

Useless skivvies - are you listening Spoons?

 

They even have the occasional toilet break!!!!!

[jltree]

Had a lad stay off as his parents were away and he needed to be of to feed the chickens!! all 6 of them

[peatff]

They even have the occasional toilet break!!!!

 

But do they run to the chipper carrying brash. Anybody had a week on the club with a broken flask yet ?

[Shane]

But do they run to the chipper carrying brash. Anybody had a week on the club with a broken flask yet ?

 

I think that sketch has been done before.

You can walk to the chipper but you must run back.

The guy advocating this is a black belt something so be careful.