the uk economy

[Yorkshireman]



 

 

 

Letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Darling,

 

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain 's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

 

 

There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

 

1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fix ed .

 

2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed .

 

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed .

 

4) They must send their kids to school / college /university - Crime rate fixed

 

5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco / fuel a week there's your money back in duty / tax etc

 

It can't get any easier than that!

 

P.S. If more money is needed , have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

[tommer9]

The idea of giving everyone on the electoral role £10,000 was mooted in parliament a few months ago. The reason given for not doing it? "The general public would not know how to responsibly deal with that kind of money"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Line 'em up and shoot 'em.

[Ross Turner]

raflmfao

[tommer9]

raflmfao

 

wot?

[Ross Turner]

rolling around floor laughing my f****** arse off.

[Ian C]

Nice fix Yorkshireman, you should be an MP. have you got any claims to put in........New saws etc, think your allowed 20k for new saws.

 

What winds me up is that if the tax man finds us mear mortals not quite putting everything through the books were done for fraud and given a hefty bill for back payment, MP's there imune to this....robbin *****, at least dick purpin had the decency to wear a mask.

Edited May 16, 2009 by Ian C

[Yorkshireman]

I cant claim that one , its just doin' the rounds , but seems to make a whole load of sense to me

[skyhuck]

I think the government has used around 500 Billion to prop up the banks.

 

This scheme would cost 20,000 Billion, rather more.

[tommer9]

rolling around floor laughing my f****** arse off.

 

Ta. Me too.

[Jamie]

As Mr Darling is my MP i was going to ask if it would be ok if i signed onto the dole as an 'accounting error'.

 

you know i just never noticed i worked all week and had this extra bit of cash coming in.

 

Jamie