Dog dilema

[Big J]

Posting to ask a bit of advice regarding a golden retriever.

 

My aunt has always had GRs and has always done a fairly poor job of looking after them. The previous two were always very overweight and died young. My aunts health has been failing in the last few years, and she was very unwell by October last year, so we offered to look after her present retriever (a 7 year old called Ellie).

 

When she came to us (my father brought her up from Derby to Edinburgh), she was vastly overweight, very very unfit (unable to walk more than 5 minutes without lying down) and not really trained. We put a lot of effort in, stripped 10kg off her (she started at 42kg) and she is now very fit but for a slightly weak hip.

 

At Christmas, my aunt was really very unwell indeed, and we didn't expect her to last very long. My wife and I had just been through the trauma of losing our baby and we just needed to make life a bit easier, so we rehomed he with some good friends who lived completely rurally. They are both retired, but have a teenage son, and they are a mile down a farm track at the foot of the Pentland Hills. She has a better life there than she ever had in Derby (she was practically unwalked).

 

Now the problem is that my aunt is little better and wants her back, but I can't bear to take what is a fit, healthy, happy dog away from the perfect home to put her back with my aunt, who just destroys the health of dogs she has. We left Ellie with her for 6 days over Christmas and she gained 2kg. I have also never seen her look so depressed.

 

My aunt is unable to look after herself (4 carer calls a day, can't really walk, has early dementia and many many other health problems, as well as a heavy smoker) and has never been able to look after dogs, even when she was well.

 

What do I do? I'm just stalling with my aunt in coming back to England, and I don't want to ask to take her back from a family that love her. I honestly didn't expect my aunt to still be alive now, and at the very least I would have hoped that she would be able to see that in her state, a large dog is unwise.

 

Speaking to other people, the only thing that seems to be suggested is that I tell her the dog has died, but it would be an awful thing to do.

 

If I return her to my aunt, I'm condemning the dog to an early death and a **** life, not to mention that my aunt had quite a bad fall as a result of having the dog back at Christmas.

 

Help!

[Paul Barton]

I think you need to convince her that having the dog around her could be a hazard - use the example of the fall at Christmas. Possibly try and get a medical professional or someone involved in her care to back you up?

 

Nice one for saving the dog...hope you can keep it.

[Mark Bolam]

Tell her the dog has died J, first thought that came into my head.

 

I'm sure she's a nice person, but condemning a dog to an obese death isn't on.

 

She'll get over it.

 

 

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[Big J]

I think you need to convince her that having the dog around her could be a hazard - use the example of the fall at Christmas. Possibly try and get a medical professional or someone involved in her care to back you up?

 

Nice one for saving the dog...hope you can keep it.

 

Impossible to rationalise with her unfortunately. As well as the dementia, there is an element of mental health problems too. She just doesn't understand how poor a life her dogs have had. The local field where they have occasionally been walked is a dog dirt, litter strewn quagmire, and there is nothing else. Even if she gets a dog walker, which she says she will do but invariably won't, Ellie is still cooped up in the house for 23.5 hours a day, passively smoking (the previous dog died of lung cancer aged 10) and being fed constantly with toast, chocolate and anything else she can find.

 

Apologies for the accidental swearing in the original post - complete oversight!

 

Because the family that have her are retired, there is someone with her all the time. She's walked 2 hours a day, around an upland reservoir on which their house sits. She's never fed rubbish and is in cracking shape.

 

Faking the dogs death it is then!

[Stephen Blair]

You don't need this stress of hurting an old ladies feelings and she doesn't need a dog!

 

Tell your dad you did him a favour, now it's up to him to sort out the rest.

 

The dog stays where it is!!

[Big J]

You don't need this stress of hurting an old ladies feelings and she doesn't need a dog!

 

Tell your dad you did him a favour, now it's up to him to sort out the rest.

 

The dog stays where it is!!

 

Haha! If only it were that simple - my father and his sister don't really get on. I'm in Edinburgh, my aunt in the midlands and my father in France!

 

It's just compounding my feelings that most people that have dogs probably shouldn't. Even when she was well they were overfed, underwalked and subjected to cigarette smoke. She hasn't done anything malicious, but the dogs always had a crap life.

 

To illustrate, I car walk our dog Katie quite a bit going to and from site and around the estate on the way home from work. She does a steady 20-30mph. Ellie could only do 7mph when she came to us - she was doing 15mph by Christmas and is fitter now. She went from walking 5 minutes and lying down to walking the Eildon Hills with us (around 4-500m ascent and a 2 hour walk). It just pains me to think of her going back to that smoke filled box.

[Stubby]

You godda do whats right Big J and sometimes it aint easy . In the nicest possible way you have to tell that the dog will suffer if left with her as you feel she is unable to give it the care it needs . Blunt but true mate . Good luck bud !

[Warren1]

Big j ain't been on this site long sorry to hear about your loss that really sucks. Regarding the dog couldn't you tell her you've got really attached and want to keep her , then borrow her for the odd visit if need be. If your sure she won't go for it then its the doggy heaven route . Good luck

[dexta]

Sounds like you no the answer. Your aunt's not going to like it but you going have to tell the truth that the dog is living a great life in the countryside with plenty of long walks with a lovely couple that can spend the time with dog. Realistically that she can't look after it

[Stephen Blair]

J you are in Edinburgh, I am in Largs, others are all ove rhe country and world!

 

This is not a ' what's best for the dog ' thread.

 

It's a ' I don't want to Hurt anyone's feelings ' thread.

 

I would be the same, so why to just makeup the craziest excuse ever and take advantage of the situation.

 

Let me start and everyone can add a bit,' Hi Auntie, it's Little J here, I have some great news, Walt Disney is just off the phone, they are making a remake of Lassie and .......