What your dad said

[Arbtech Tree Services]

I was working up in a bell tower putting a ply wood floor in, my old chap was on a scaffold below....

 

Christ, how big's your 'Old Chap' ?

 

'if yer brains were made on dynamite you couldn't blow your hat off'

 

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose

 

If brains were cotton wool you wouldn't have enough to make a Tampax for a flea

 

I've forgotten more than you'll ever know

 

Your knowledge of (fill as appropriate) wouldn't fill a postage stamp

 

You were given two ears but only one mouth for a reason

 

And a couple my Father really said;

 

There was a song once - how many nappies changed, no charge

 

and once (in jest) when i said i didn't ask to be born he replied 'if you did you'd have been refused.....'

[raker]

The older my old chap gets the more frightened i am of losing him.He is seeing his 70th year soon, but theres nobody else i would turn to to do concreting.Hes a human dynamo, who has built several houses practically solo with a bit of help from me and my bro.

Hes spent his whole life as a sparkey, and had a good life on it.Never heard him swear.

Hes only said a few things that stuck:

`Where we going?`

`To see a man about a dog` or `There and back to see how far it is`.

 

When i`ve moaned about the kids, hes always said`They`re soon gone.Enjoy them while they`re home`.

 

Measure twice, cut once.

 

`Dont rush a job even if you`ve priced wrong`.

[PeteB]

Go for the ugly one's, they are more grateful!

 

I twice wished I had listened! Thanks for the advice Dad......

[PeteB]

"Your Mum has asked me to have a word with you....."

[Lee Winger]

A couple from my old man

 

''Look after what you've got or you'll have f-all''

 

''Don't let your prick rule your brain''

 

''Shoot him in the legs and if that don't stop him give it to him in the head''

 

He always called me Bill for some reason..........

Edited February 25, 2013 by Lee Winger

[8801]

Used laugh at the things my father used to say but they make more sense as I get older.

 

'A handful of a business is better than a field full of work' Did not mean much to me working for my father when I was younger, but after working 10 years for other people it makes perfect sense.

 

We used to be coal merchants (I am again now) and when we finished in 2002 he used say 'People will come back to Logs and Coal when the Gas & Oil will go up in price' and my God he's right.

[woodpile]

Totally un PC, and it was said in the early 70's but if ever I said "That's not fair"

 

I recieved the reply "Nor's a black mans' bum"

 

Whatever. It would've been his 73rd on thursday if this was a leap year

[Perkins]

(when it's raining),

 

"I've never seen a man dissolve"