Stay at home Dad...?

[Grass hopper]

I'm doing the dad at home right now, the wife had them (twin girls) for the first year and there 3 now , I have them full time from 06.00 till 17.00 , on till the other half gets in Monday to Wednesday on Thursday and Friday in childcare from 07.30 till 13.00 then the mother in law will take them till one of us get home , that give me Thursday/Friday/Saturday to work and Sunday is family day. work well for us , I love the time I have with them , if I'm not working I try and get a course in , keep the head right. If there is any info you need , just ask. Best of luck..

[breffni]

I say go for it, try it for awhile. My missus works Saturdays so I have willow and it's great. Now she is crawling u can have great fun with her. Before my missus went back to work I was working Saturdays and only had Sundays with the baby. Now I feel like we connect better if that makes sense?!

[gand]

I'm doing the Dad bit and have been for 4 years now, and I love it always managed to get 2 days work in a week. Got easier as my little girl got to age of 3 as you can get 15 hours free nursery care. And it's enabled me to get 4-5 days in. All in all it's worked out far better for us both and better off finacially with the cost of child care

[ballymac]

Have been doing the stay at home dad thing with our two on Mondays and Tuesdays now for about 3 years and have to say that I enjoy it. Their granny and grandad do Wednesdays for us and then creche for Thursdays and Fridays. My wife has a good steady job so it was just a decision we made that suited our circumstances to cut down on childcare costs. I work Wed-Sat and my wife does the regular Mon-Fri and we try to have a family day on Sunday.

I have to say I found it tough for the first 6 months or so because I was trying to do too much around the house and not enjoying the time with the kids. I used to feel guilty when I wasn't doing anything constructive but some friends of mine gave me some good advice. They said that the kids will be grown up and away at school/college before you know it, so enjoy your time with them because it's only a blink of an eye in the big scheme of things.

I took their advice on board and have a much better attitude to being at home and am consequently much happier. I probably do a couple or three hours housework a day and the rest of the time just have a bit of craic with the kids.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Beezy]

Really appreciate all the advice on this one fellas, the little ones are all but a twinkle in their daddy's eye at the moment, but we're thinking and talking things through.

 

Many thanks for all your thoughts and experiences.

 

Cheers

Beezy

[gand]

All you can do now then is have fun trying

[Minotaur]

Some good advice on here, Beezy. At the end of the day everyone has their own comfort levels when dealing with babes/toddlers/kids, and it can take a fair it of getting used to.

If the Mrs' has a good/well paid job, then maybe some sort of part time or self employed mix might work for you.

Ballymac looks to have a good balance, but as I said, each to their own. What works for one, may not work for you. I think alot of it comes down to temperament and maturity.

Where about in Kent are you? How far afield do/can you travel for work?

 

Good luck

[Stephen Blair]

I took the boys to school and nursery, walked the dogs down the beach, collected the wee 1 from nursery and went to the park for an hour, did have to spend 20 mins picking dog dirt out his Wellies, then struggled to get them back on as the liner came out aswell, then a moany wingey 10 min walk home as he was cold and tired, got home, gave him some pancakes and jam , he's watching Thomas and I am on here, tough morning at the office:biggrin:

[Stereo]

We really tried to be 50/50 with our first and it kind of worked. Now have 3 boys and I have done more than most blokes with all of them. You have to adapt to what's going on with work / money etc. If breastfeeding then it's difficult to be truly 50/50.

 

I would say go for it. It's the best thing you will ever do and the hardest thing you will ever do. Don't ever think for a second that staying home with the baby is the easy route. They WILL test you to your limits. It's just bloody graft but it's bloody brilliant too.

 

It got to the point for us that going to work was a day off.......

[john k]

I have been in the industry for plenty years, and now work as a Surveyor/Consultant for a company following level 3 qualification. My wife earns decent money and commutes into London, she enjoys her job.

 

So, tentatively discussed post bambino, her returning to work after maternity leave and me staying at home, giving up my current job and potentially developing my own part time surveying/looking after kids. I'm quite happy with the whole housework food cooking thing, kinda do it already if missus is late or delayed getting home from the big smoke! I'm in no doubt this wont be easy to juggle it all, but certainly could be an option.

 

Does anyone else do this, if so how does it work, recommendation, don't do it!! Etc etc

 

I've been doing most of the childcare in our family for the last ten years and it works really well for us. I work part time, but looking after the kids is my priority.

 

I'm self employed and can normally schedule my working days to suit my family commitments. It's not always easy though, and things tend to unravel a bit if I try to take on too much work. There are sometimes things I'd like to do, but can't. You just have to accept that and not fight it too much.

 

Pre-school is relatively easy as childcare tends to be for full days, but when they get to school it can be a bit more complicated. The school day is short, and it's a five day week so you don't get any clear working days any more. This is something that can take you by surprise a few years down the line, just as you think you've got it sussed! Don't forget the school holidays too. And inset days. Oh, and their first term at school when they may only do mornings.

 

Early starts don't mix well with the school run, which may limit work options, but I have found that people are generally pretty helpful if you're up front about things. Surveying would seem to be a good option for flexible working anyway.

 

It sounds like it could well make sense for you and your family. It's very rewarding and can be a lot of fun.

Edited January 24, 2013 by john k