Jobs you wished you never did

[Rentachimp]

Two words; Utility work. I lasted 2 weeks and 4 days...

[Jamie]

matt you dumping loads on women again...sorry i couldn't resist that

 

Jamie

[Dean Lofthouse]

Could'nt take an ex squaddie then?

 

You can tell when someone is not accustomed to guns.

 

When you have been brought up with them and been around them all your life, they are not as scarey when one is pointed at you.

 

Mind you, you do have to have the odd damaged brain cell as well.

 

It was more a case of who had the most bottle.

 

I don't know how the conversation went after I left but it must have been interesting.

 

If the wife and kids hadn't have been there I would have reacted differently and just told them to kick the shite out of my mate, he deserved it.

 

They never got their money back, I do know that.

 

Poor sods.

[Dean Lofthouse]

The poplar job, where i got attacked by squirrels and someone (not mentioning any names) felled a 35 ft pop top onto my head while i was in the tree next to him!

 

 

Good teamwork, that's what I like to see.

[Tom D]

Got stopped in the street by a girl with a clipboard once, her first question was "what sort of beer do you drink?" A week later i had to report to the function room of the five star Caledonian hotel on princes street where i had to taste 4 pints of beer A on the first night and four pints of beer B on the second night and then fill in a form. They had laid on a buffet too. When I arrived it turned out that some of my mates were there too, we got paid £20 per night....

 

Man it was hard work.

[cordwood]

The first contractor i worked for when i finished college was a farly tight sort. He would rather spend time fecking about making his own tool's rather than spend a few quid and buy the real mccoy!

 

 

For example why buy a hi-lift when you could make one out of old off cut's.

 

Spike's ? Waste of money what you really need is an old coal hammer and a selection of six inch nail's and old bolt's (recycled of course !) sharpened to a point, just hammer them in as you need them!

 

Steel cord strop ? what you really need is a steel cable with an eye spliced either end , just the same as one of those fancy gimmick type one's but available from our local chandler's for only a tenner!

 

Expensive bull/work rope's ? I think not, what you need is an old rope that has been used by a farmer as a tow rope and used to tie the silage bale's onto his trailer, need i go on?

 

Funny looking back on it now but a little odd at the time!

 

I won't mention any name's but i'm sure some of you will know who i'm talking about!!

[madmatt]

The first contractor i worked for when i finished college was a farly tight sort. He would rather spend time fecking about making his own tool's rather than spend a few quid and buy the real mccoy!

 

 

For example why buy a hi-lift when you could make one out of old off cut's.

 

Spike's ? Waste of money what you really need is an old coal hammer and a selection of six inch nail's and old bolt's (recycled of course !) sharpened to a point, just hammer them in as you need them!

 

Steel cord strop ? what you really need is a steel cable with an eye spliced either end , just the same as one of those fancy gimmick type one's but available from our local chandler's for only a tenner!

 

Expensive bull/work rope's ? I think not, what you need is an old rope that has been used by a farmer as a tow rope and used to tie the silage bale's onto his trailer, need i go on?

 

Funny looking back on it now but a little odd at the time!

 

I won't mention any name's but i'm sure some of you will know who i'm talking about!!

 

Oh if only you could tell them in full detail! you gotta admit he's a source of constant amusement and amazement!

[cordwood]

Yeah too right , and i barely scratched the surface!!!

[Mr Ed]

Not in cheshire by an chance? sounds remarkably like one of my old aquaintances...

[bob]

i thought he meant you ed