Jokes???

[SamanthaSunny]

19 minutes ago, Mrblue5000 said:

No tats and no piercings so that puts me at a disadvantage straight away, only managed 5. Sorry Sam, dull and boring, but I can't be a child tv star anymore either.

I will personally pay for your tattoo lol ? choose one because your far too pure ????

[SamanthaSunny]

12 minutes ago, Mesterh said:

21.

 

Maybe its time I talk to Mum about buying a house of my own.

 

Seriously though I didnt realise I was in the company of so many TV celebs! It explains a lot

 

6,12,14 and 17 for me.

 

I love it when someone is brave enough to confess ? good for you Mesterh I have not done 4,10,13,15 and 17 ????

[Mrblue5000]

Been thinking about the little man pushing a lawnmower around the ever increasing bald spot on top of my head. Too pure? More like too poor?  Parlours all closed now so your money is safe for a while.

[Logdaft]

 

Edited November 2, 2020 by Logdaft

[Logdaft]

[Logdaft]

A text to a neighbour:
Hi, Max. This is Richard, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face.
When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you.
I havn't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.
Richard

Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife."
Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.

[Rich Rule]

On 30/10/2020 at 22:10, Mark Bolam said:

Think I got 2, unless Thames/Broads trips count as a cruise?

 

I’ve never skydived.

I got three.

 

I have never ridden a horse, had a piercing or skydived.

[SamanthaSunny]

5 hours ago, Logdaft said:

Me ?

[SamanthaSunny]

4 hours ago, Rich Rule said:

I got three.

 

I have never ridden a horse, had a piercing or skydived.

What did you get arrested for ? I have been banned from a couple of pubs  for actually being drunk and disorderly but I was only 29 and had never drank a drop before then so it hit me quickly ??‍♀️ How come I did not get arrested !!!! Not fair ?

[Rich Rule]

Oh, the arrest wasn't actually an arrest.  So maybe it should be 4

 

Massive drunken fight outside a pizza shop one night about 3 in the morning.  Riot vans turned up and we were bundled in by police...  Luckily a few people spoke to the police and we were just defending our friend who had about 6 lads jump him.  They took the others and let us go.

 

Nothing spectacular, just and average night out in the North East of England during the 90's.