Jokes???

[nepia]

I've just spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge or, as the wife likes to call it, foreplay.

[Tommy_B]

A mate of mine sent me a link to this on facebook.

 

Read these reviews.

 

Amazon.co.uk: Customer Reviews: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml

[bbtarb]

A mate of mine sent me a link to this on facebook.

 

Read these reviews.

 

Amazon.co.uk: Customer Reviews: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml

 

that is brilliant!

[Tommy_B]

that is brilliant!

 

I was crying when I read some of them!!

[Tyz05]

A mate of mine sent me a link to this on facebook.

 

Read these reviews.

 

Amazon.co.uk: Customer Reviews: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml

 

Hahahahaha!!!! That's brilliant! Particularly like the spud comment!

[bbtarb]

I was crying when I read some of them!!

 

simply squat over the yoghurt pot and lower your ballsack in . . . .

[PeteB]

I have to keep things in order but after laughing at those reviews, I'll stay clear of the product. Thanks Tommy, good find.

[PeteB]

I received this as an email recently....

 

This is one from NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster Jiggs McDonald in Orillia .

 

Tolerance

 

I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against

another mosque being built in Toronto .

 

I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant

regardless of their religious beliefs.

Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

 

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next

door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the

mosque.

 

We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban

Cowboy ", and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

 

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and

adjacent to that an open-pit barbeque pork restaurant, called

" Iraq o' Ribs."

 

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called

" Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret ", with sexy mannequins in the

window modeling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult

sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge ", its name in flashing neon

lights, and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."

 

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the

tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be

a problem for others.

 

If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a

good plan, please pass it on...

[PeteB]

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise

for answered prayers.

 

Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise.

Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his

scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors

didn't know if they could help him."

 

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they

imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

 

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move

caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate

operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed

remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

 

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as

they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

 

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of

the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover

completely."

 

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively

asked if anyone else had something to say.

 

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

 

He said, "I'm Tom Smith."

 

The entire congregation held its breath.

 

"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

[PeteB]

FLYING SOLO

 

This is the story of a poor blonde flyingin a two-seater airplane with just

the pilot.

He has a heart attack and dies. She frantically calls a May Day:

 

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is

dead. I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

 

All of a sudden she hears a voice over the radio saying:

 

"This is the tower. I have received your message and I will talk you through

it. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just relax.

Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

 

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm sitting."

 

"O.K." says the voice from the tower. "Repeat after me: Our Father. . . Who

art in Heaven. . .. "