Jokes???

[sawmonkey]

kate middleton has ask the queen what the secret is to being married in the royal family, the queen said "wear a seat belt and dont p**s me off"

[RobRainford]

I took this Thai bird back to my hotel last night. I was just about to rip her knickers off when I saw an allergy advice sign on them.

 

It said "Warning: May Contain Nuts".

[Tree Man Tom]

I was sat on the train this morning and there was this really stunning Thai girl sat opposite me, i kept saying to myself, dont get an erection, dont get an erection. But she did.

[armchairarborist]

english man, scotsman and an arabic man walking through the desert, a hot brunette woman runs up to them wearing only union jack bikini bottoms, 'aha' says the english man, 'the english flag, she's mine' and rips off her underwear, to his dismay she is wearing another bikini bottom underneath with the st andrews cross on the front, 'och aye' says the scotsman, 'tis the flag of bonnie scotland.. she's mine' and promply rips off the underwear, immediately the arabic man points excitedly 'see, tis the beard of allah, she's mine..'

[RobRainford]

My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo.

[Sam Thompson]

Womens Rights.

 

 

 

 

Edited January 16, 2011 by Sam Thompson

[armchairarborist]

...women drivers, again in the nicest possible sense haha:001_tt2: i mean they do look hot behind the wheel of a large vehicle but its usually not for the best:thumbup:

[Lorry thompson]

I did get it Tommy, I was being sarky!

 

What's got 6 eyes and can't see?

 

3 blind mice.

 

Haha of course he got it he's probably the sharpest person on here

[RobRainford]

A man sat in a bar after a long night of drinking says to the landlord "I better get back to the misses before she kicks off at me for staying out all night" so he gets up and walks to the door but falls flat on his face before he gets to the door, he says "my god it seems I hav had a skinfull tonight" he gets up an grabs hold of the door. When he opens the door he attempts to walk home but falls flat on his face on the street, he says "I really have had to much to drink tonight I better crawl home" fortunately he lives just next to the pub and it wasn't to far for him to crawl. He gets to his house and crawls upstairs to bed and falls asleep. The next morning he wakes up and his wife says "you had a fair few pints last night didn't you" and he says "how do you know?" his wife replies "Mick from the pub rang up this morning saying that you left your wheelchair there last night".

[##ray##]

made me smile [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxaCfJfw6AY]YouTube - The Bricklayers Song[/ame]