Tricky situation - thoughts?

[Mesterh]

37 minutes ago, spudulike said:

Perhaps someone on here is a bit closer and can swing past and see if there is life at the house before visiting/writing etc.

That's a good call. She may have taken ill or worse. Personally I would, or would have taken a trip down there with every bit of correspondence from herself and her husband. I would knock on a neighbours door and explain the situation, hopefully they could provide some further info and if possible they would accompany me to the house. At least that way it would be less if at all intimidating. 

 

[agg221]

On 27/01/2022 at 20:40, Mark Bolam said:

It’s a tough one for sure Alec.

 

As you seem to be one of the most intelligent, reasonable and level-headed people on here I’m not sure I can help much!

 

Mike’s idea of a registered letter is pretty sound, although ‘received’ and ‘opened and read’ can be different things.

Maybe try calling from a different number? Yours may have been put on the ‘hassle I can’t deal with filter’.

If you can get the opportunity to explain the situation I’m sure you can do it with diplomacy and tact, given the circumstances.

 

Like Alex, I’d avoid solicitors if at all possible.

Last resort territory for me.

 

Good luck with it mate.

Thanks for the compliments Mark, whether deserved or not!

 

There is actually a good reason for asking for the collective wisdom of the good members of this forum. I tend to be very logical, and in my day job I sometimes have to negotiate with professional buyers who are trained to beat me down. I can go toe to toe with some of the hardest nosed buyers there are and not flinch, look them in the eye and systematically dismantle their arguments as fast as they make them, leaving them paying exactly what I wanted them to. I have an armory of tactics and have never gone below where I wanted to be, and usually get more (they don't actually walk out crying, but they aren't happy). I wrote and deliver the corporate training course on pricing.

 

However, this is not good preparation for dealing with potentially distressed and not entirely rational old ladies.
Someone who pruned old Mrs Miggins' tree and now wants payment, only to find she is getting rather forgetful and a bit irrational and keeps failing to pay up has probably had more experience of tactics which get them a good result than I have in this kind of situation.

 

Alec

 

 

[AHPP]

1 hour ago, Mesterh said:

I would knock on a neighbours door and explain the situation

 

I'd be monstrously angry if someone aired my dirty laundry with my neighbours. It's not their business. 

[Mesterh]

If you were keeping hold of someone's property then tough. Maybe you would prefer someone came and kicked your door down then. 

 

I think you totally misunderstood what I was trying to say. 

[AHPP]

I assume you meant you would do so to ascertain whether the watchmaker's widow was fit to be talked to. I would credit her with her faculties and competence until I had reason to doubt them. I do take your point about not doing bad things if you don't want your misdeeds publicised but there are three sides to every story. Perhaps she's broadly speaking innocent.

[Mesterh]

Not just to find out if she is fit to talk to but more for the reason as to not cause any undue stress to her. I imagine that she most be going through terrible times and I would rather not just knock on her door and ask for my goods back. I thought that it would be best if a friendly neighbour was there too. I think we can dismiss her faculties and competence since she won't answer the phone or as I mentioned she may not be able to do so. 

 

The OP needs his goods back and I thought that it might be the best approach rather than going down the route of solicitors letters etc.

 

Go down there and find out what is going on while trying to not cause undue grief to the widow. 

 

I hope ag manages to find a way to sort it out, a tricky situation for sure. 

 

[daveatdave]

don't think i would be happy if someone out of the blue knocked on my door wanting me to go to the neighbors with them to demand goods back  or give them information of there wellbeing 

[Mesterh]

I'm not suggesting he should whip up a posse and kick the widows back door in. Quite the opposite. A decent neighbour would take an interest and help out where they could.

Anyway, I think I will leave this for now as it seems that I'm not  explaining what I would do correctly, or if that is coming across in the right manner.