the village idiot

That's easy Eggs. I got to read your postcard.

Give Ray O' Flight a call Mark. He's cheap and cheerful.

Fantastic Silky! Do you need to borrow an outfit?

Snowing in Suffolkshire today, and our jilted friend Arzgarth was still down in the dumps, so to cheer him up I took him to the counties only hillock for a spot of tobogganing. Arzgarth's mental age came to the fore. He was more happy than I have ever seen him. He finally ran out of energy (and Um bongo) after 666 runs. Also managed to capture a very touching scene. The rest of the Rolling Groans (Arzgarth's band) had heard about his loss and came out to meet us and offer Arzgarth some moral support. They knew music is his lifeforce so lead screamer Braindead broke into a spontaneous rendition of the band's surprise Christmas hit 'Satan Slays' (It was supposed to be called Santa's Sleigh, but illiterate Arzgarth was given the job of submitting copy to the record company). Probably just as well as Satan Slays is a blistering 27 minute long death metal freakout with amps turned to eleven and no discernable time signatures. Anyhow, the band's musical synchronicity is so tight that a single bark from Braindead initiates a pavlovian reponse in the rest of the Rolling Groans, lifting Arzgarth's spirits no end. Arzgarth and I returned to the yurt rejuvinated and full of the joy's of winter. Arzgarth has snapped out of his reverie and is back to his old self again. He has written a new anti ginger protest song ('Blak is the nu Oring') on his non existant piano, and has now fallen into exhausted sleep, his legs twitching as he dreams of running back up the snowy slopes. It's great to have him back. Thick as a glacier, heart of gold.

On the plus side, she could then give the chipper it's first run out and let us know how it deals with unwanted prunings.

" Hope they only take the top few potatoes, otherwise they're going to find the cat"

"Sacré bleu! She's pulled up my pee tree"

Broke the bad news to Arzgarth. He is a mess, poor chap. Megabitch scarpered as soon as her secret was revealed. Didn't even stop to speak to her husband. Arzgarth has now taken his head out of the oven. We've never had gas so I'm not sure what he was trying to achieve. In his desperate hour of grief he felt compelled to put crayon to paper and express his feelings in prose. He has asked me to share it with you in the hope it may help others in a similar situation. gonned. my hart is broke in to l feel lyke a poo troo luv is krool lost is my jool she sleeped in my bed then kaved in my hed i am sad but stil lyke my dad all broke en now lyke a ded cow teer in my i no kiss gud bye re bild my lyfe wil fynd a nu wyfe not so krapee make arzgarf hapee If you were not moved to tears by Arzgarth's poignant portrayel of a man yearning for his lost love then you have no soul. Can anyone out there help me find a new beau (not woodworks!) for our poor heartbroken friend? Odin bless you all. TVI.

Very agreeable I'd say Ti. We rarely come to blows.

Wowzers! How do you guys feel mentally after a weight training session? Presumably it puts you in a good mood? Have you noticed any difference in mood effect between weights and other forms of exercise?

Is there more than one mountain? Actually, probably best we don't go there!

It's interesting though, most of the on the ground forestry folk I know are fairly wirery and lean. The bulky ones, I suspect, do extra training on top. Maybe this has something to do with calorie consumption? Either that or you really have to concentrate on specific muscle groups to get them bulging?

Blimey, that's impressive. Just out of interest, what's the reasoning behind that chap cupping your balls during the atlas stone lift?

No spinning here Ti. I have no agenda. We each make sense of the world in the best way we can. There are lots of paths to follow to reach conclusions about the universe. I would love to suggest that they are all equally valid, but I sincerely don't believe that to be the case.

Each seperate spin is random Ti, but when each of gazillions of spins are non randomly selected for by the environment over time, you end up with complexity from simplicity. Evolution is often misunderstood as being a process of chance. Genetic mutation is chance but the selection leading to evolution is certainly not.

Hi Paul. You will certainly need a felling license if you want to do it in one hit. You can only fell 5 cubic mtrs per quarter without a license. Sawmills will buy Norway Spruce. Have you got any in the region?

They're already here Mick. They've been here for 18,500 times longer than we have. Humans evolved from them and in direct partnership with them. It's pretty humbling to think about, but the DNA in our mitochondria (the cells that provide us with all our energy) is bacterial. We would not exist without bacteria, we exist with their 'help'. They would be perfectly fine without us. No planning has gone into this situation of course, bacteria have no 'intent' that we know of, and evolution through natural selection is blind. Certainly food for thought though.

Or you could buy 600,000 wagon wheels and see if any of them taste anything like as good as you remember.

We have at least as many 'non human' bacterial cells in our bodies as we do 'human' cells. In terms of cell count we are more bacterial than human. It is quite legitimate to think of us as food gathering host vehicles for our bacterial overlords if you're that way inclined.

I do have some sympathy for a firing squad at 80 intervention, and an 'only replace yourself' policy. But both of these viewpoints are deeply unpopular.

No, it was a 'wow' at the severity of the proposed control measure.

Has not been disclosed, or has not yet been identified? You have to be very careful with language in things like this. There are theories online about the first 'contractor' coming into contact with infected bats.

Wow!

I don't know anything about gym's or regimented weightlifting but I think I have definately benefitted hugely from 'accidently' strengthening my core muscles. I worked on a farm for years. It was physical but only in specific ways, alternating between driving tractors and lifting cumbersome heavy items. My arms and shoulders got strong but I suffered from serious bad back issues. Since switching to woodland management, the greater range of movements under load has I think significantly strengthened my core, particularly legs and back. I no longer suffer any back problems at all, despite still lifting heavy awkward objects. Sorry, not specifically gym related, but still relevant I think.