parental advice

[cerneARB]

i was in your same poistion 4 years back nuggsy.

 

i moved to Suffolk from berkshire 2 and half hours drive from my daughter. There was a little bit off "daddies moved away because he dont love me" from my daughter but she is ok now...we have her up here and i see her down in berkshire evry few weeks.

 

just keep seeing your son , ring him send him cards and keep telling him you love him loads and tell him your moving because you need work not because you dont want him...kids do understand more than we think..even young ones.

 

good luck.

[nuggsy]

ive not spoke much to anyone yet. i only see him on a sunday really and he stays the odd saterday nite but thats it the now.

in some ways i wish i had never met his mum coz shes a complete bastard !!! however these things happen and we learn by our mistakes.

i dont want to live in dumfries, eather way il b moving its just weather i move with steff or not

[Tribaltree]

I'm no where near your boots in this situation, but i also everything has been said.

Another point to make is if at this young age would it be better than moving when he is slightly older, as he is still learning loads in this stage of life it may be benefitial to move when he is this young so he can grow to get used to seeing you not as often as he can, and therefore his understanding of you living so far away will be a part of everyday life for him.

As it was mentioned before show him as much love as you intend and make sure he's comfortable with the situation.

I wish you all the best of luck in this as it is a very hard task to approach.

[Frank]

Has your ex got a new partner??

[nuggsy]

havnt got a clue frank ?

[scudmonster]

nuggsy,

dont worry mate milton keynes aint that far away. you are providing financial support organise block quality time. you are not running away, he is still your son, you have rights. I take it steph has no problem with your son.

first things first, your son is no.1 and any partners need to understand the love a father has for their kids. If they dont the relationship cant progress.

 

I hope that has been helpful bud.

 

take care

[nuggsy]

cheers richard, yeah that makes sence like. its a big decision none the less

[Frank]

the reason I ask is, a lad I went to school with split up with his baby girls mum, but was still there all the time visiting (living just 2 minutes away) and watching her grow up, completely amicably for the first four years of her life. He then moved house (45 minute drive) and found it increasingly difficult to catch his ex on the phone or at home so in turn started missing things in his daughters life. His ex soon moved on and found a new man which drove an even bigger wedge between not only him and his ex, but also his daughter. 3 years on and his little girl is 7 and starting to be made to call him by his first name, his ex and new partner are now planning on getting married. My mate now feels as though it could be the end of his relationship with his girl. He feels that no matter how much he wants to be a part of her life, whats the point, he feels like it would be worse for him to keep involved, he feels it will get to a stage where he will be just putting extra money into someone else house. I dont know what to suggest.

 

But my opinion is for him to keep contact ALWAYS. because I believe that when the child grows up and asks questions, the first one will be along the lines of "so where has my real dad been all these years and why havent I seen him"?

[nuggsy]

i get ya frank, i dont thinks she has like. we agreed when we split up we would keep each other informed like so god nose lol

[Stephen Blair]

it must be heart wrenching nuggsy, you are obviously a good dad or you would of left by now. plenty do. Do what your heart feels is right. try and not let your feelings for the ex get in the way. it is always the kids that suffer. they are little sponges.