Fostering kids.

[Mick Stockbridge]

The wife and I have been talking about fostering for a couple of years now. Does anyone have any experience and can offer some advice? If not any opinions would be welcome.

[Chris Sheppard]

My Auntie and Uncle have fostered kids for the last 10 years or so and have found it quite rewarding. They've had a selection of ages and every one's been different - you're bound to get some with more "issues" than others but on the whole they've had no real problems.

[Ben Ballard]

think that is a great thing to do,me and my wife have talked about adopting or fostering if ivf treatment doesnt work in next couple years

[John Hancock]

The wife and I have been talking about fostering for a couple of years now. Does anyone have any experience and can offer some advice? If not any opinions would be welcome.

 

I don’t have any experience or advice, all I can offer is encouragement. What a fantastic thing to do! If my circumstances were different I’d love to do the same, excellent idea….go for it!

[Topcat]

We have two kids and looked into fostering.You have to go on a course run by the council. Everything seemed ok till about week 6 when the girls taking the course said this was the time when most changed thier mind. The do's and don'ts of the legal side

just out weighed the good. I take my hat off to any one doing it and it's stupid that our legal system made us hesitate when all we wanted to do was give a kid a better life during what must be a bad time for them...Good luck and let us all know how you get on

[Stephen Blair]

dont have any experience personally, but went to school with lads that were fostered.

These poor wee guys had been through hell, and this couple gave them a chance. They were wild when they came in first year, but they left school with qualifications and friends. Anything you can do to help others would be wothwhile. You have a lot of life experience by the sounds of it, and know good from bad. best of luck mate.

[RichardT]

We've been fostering for a few years, so far two long term placements and a couple of shorter 'respite' ones to give other fosterers a break.

 

First was a nightmare, a very damaged 15yo girl with a mission to find every rule, weakness or boundary and drive a dozer through each one. Second has been a (comparative) breeze. Next is anyone's guess.

 

A couple of observations:

 

The selection/training process is seemingly endless and grinding, but not as personally intrusive as I'd expected. Form filling, reviews, etc. etc. are a permanent feature - you're a Local Authority employee and it can feel like it. If you change employers - even to a neighbouring LA or an agency operating locally - the whole thing starts again. Perhaps most importantly, where your views and the statutory authority's differ, the casting vote is theirs every time.

 

Your home ceases to be your personal refuge, it's now also a workspace. How well this balances out depends on lots of things, principally the child ('young person' / 'Looked After Child' - LAC) in question. In some cases - eg abused children - really elaborate routines have to be put in place to keep everyone safe, yourself included (especially).

 

Every abnormal behaviour from precocious sexuality to violence to Bobby Sands style dirty protest is a possibility, and you can't assume that you'll know what you're getting - incomplete case records, or an emergency care order with no known background, etc.

 

There are lots of different ways of doing fostering - Long/short term, specific age groups, special programmes of various kinds - and lots of employers, agencies and LAs . Terms vary a lot, from expenses and a small fee to the equivalent of a mid-range nurse's salary. Potentially steady income, and sadly not the kind of work that's going to go away anytime soon.

 

Really enjoyable at times, hellish at others in short.

 

There'll certainly be introductory sessions being held by your LA and possibly agencies operating locally. I'd go to a couple and see what you think.

[Mick Stockbridge]

Great response and really encourageing. Richard T, what an insight, food for thought without doubt. More from anyone, please!

[Alasdair]

my dad and his partner fostered a family of 4 a few years ago, they didnt have a smooth time of it with the council but i think that was because they have both worked in social work/care for years and thier veiws were different from the councils but when things were going well everything was good and the kids were gettin a good deal.

 

The hardest part of it is keeping time for yourselfs seperate due to your home life becoming work as well.

 

but to make a difference to someones like is always rewarding

[Lee Winger]

I don’t have any experience or advice, all I can offer is encouragement. What a fantastic thing to do! If my circumstances were different I’d love to do the same, excellent idea….go for it!

 

I agree entirely with John