One liners from customers

[Dean Lofthouse]

Today.

 

"Ermm, exuse me, excuse me!!"

 

Came the shout from a bathroom window next door, whilst I was taking down a 40ft Cherry.

 

"Ermm, hello, it's me the neighbour"

 

"Oh, right yes, sorry couldn't hear you with the saw running, sorry"

 

"Oh, it is a blessing that you are taking that tree down, I'm chuffed to bits, are you taking the rest down?"

 

"No, Just this cherry"

 

"Well what about that Horsechestnut, it's only 15ft now but do they know how big a chestnut grows?"

 

"The Horsechestnut is staying love (the sarcastic "love" comment starts to creep in), there's nothing wrong with it and I'm sure my client is fully aware of how tall a Conker Tree grows"

 

"Well, what about the roots. Do they know how big the roots grow?"

 

"Well that should be their concern love, seen as you are 20ft below the roots and 60ft away I wouldn't have thought there would be any root issues that should worry you"

 

"There's no need to be sarcastic"

 

"There's no need to be patronising..... love"

[treediver]

Occasionally get the mental control freak type customer on the phone spewing out....

 

The works been done!!!!! or

 

Ive got someone else!!!!!

 

Normally as a result of not ringing them straight back after they've left a message. And I'm talking literally a few hours.

 

Judging by the tone of some of their voices they should really be in straight jackets.

[treewizard]

pulled up at clients house with tree surgery plastered on the side of the van got gear out owner said

"oh are you here to replace the tv aerial"

[Rich Rule]

I worked for an Housing association once and one of the residents asked to take away this and that and cut this and a bit of there etc.

I explained we had only quoted for the work and everything else would be extra and besides we had another job to do so didn't want to bust the truck. The old boy got quite offended that i wouldn't do him the favour and saying he was 87 and was too old to do it.

I explained and apologised again but said i couldn't do it. He then went on to say that youngsters have no respesct for the elderly and he fought in 2 world wars for the likes of me...

 

He wasn't too impressed when I mentioned that he had just told me he was 87 and the first world war finished in 1918 and that would have made him 1 year old at best.

 

I have a lot of respect for the elderly - but come on, I was born 33 years ago not yesterday!

[Frax]

Ever had anything like this?... Working in Salisbury last week, just clearing up after felling a silver maple; my van was being used for rakings, stuff like that. An old lady came up to me with a small bag... " Excuse me, can I put this in your lorry? It's a chicken. The bag's all tied up" To which I replied, "No!" Why couldn't she just put it in the bin?! I've had hedge clippings, stuff like that, but that was a new one for me!

[Frax]

Oh and of course there's the old chestnut "Hur hur, I've changed my mind, can you put it back together please?" Yeah, sure mate, we'll just tip it up on your drive...

[treewizard]

Oh and of course there's the old chestnut "Hur hur, I've changed my mind, can you put it back together please?" Yeah, sure mate, we'll just tip it up on your drive...

 

hahaha classic:001_smile:

[THE88MAN]

when quoting for a job some months ago at a quakers church my first question on the old graveyard trees was about any T P O's,to which the man of the cloth replied "fell now and repent later,the lord will forgive you!!" If the cap fits and all that....i walked away

[Dean Lofthouse]

I did a job for the neighbour of a church.

 

It was to fell a diseased Horsechestnut on their boundary, the neighbour paid for the job but it was the churches tree.

 

I had to leave the brash in a field against the church wall with the intention of chipping it when the field dried out a bit and I could get in without chewing the land up.

 

Went back this week and the brash pile had doubled in size with all sorts of crap thrown in.

 

The church gardeners had thrown all their crap over the wall expecting I wouldn't notice and I would take it away.

 

I threw it all back over then backed my truck upto the wall and threw all the logs from the previous job over aswell.....

 

Two can play at that game.

[THE88MAN]

and aren't the church just the best payers?........not!