Jokes???

[Al Cormack]

COMPUTER PROBLEMS

 

I was having trouble with my computer.

 

So I called Braden,the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control,and asked him to come over.Braden clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

 

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?'

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that?In case I need to fix it again.

 

'Braden grinned.... '**Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?''

No,' I replied.

 

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

 

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

 

I used to like the little s**t*. . . . . .

[PeteB]

The Wench asked me how many other women have I slept with? "Only you Darling, the others kept me awake allnight!"

 

As she threw me out she shouted that she wished me a long and painful death! I shouted back "so now you wish me to stay!?!"

[Woodcrafter]

Rod Stewart has been asked to sing at Margaret Thatchers funeral. But 'Wake up Maggie" may not be everyones favourite...

[Woodcrafter]

What do u call a burnt tesco burger? BLACK BEAUTY.

[Woodcrafter]

Paddy says to Mick "I'm booked in for a circumcision tomorrow." Mick says "I had that done when i was a day old." Paddy says "Did you? - was it sore?" Mick says "Well i couldn't walk for 18 months!"

[Paulfreebury]

I'm not saying not to trust the Internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I've won, & the number of iPads I own.

[Paulfreebury]

A woman is standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.

 

A passing tramp stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself, if you don't mind, could we have sex please?"

 

The woman says, "No, Go Away"

 

The tramp turns to leave and replies, "Fine, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."

[Paulfreebury]

My dad's a pilot and often flies over Holland.

 

But he Netherlands.

[Paulfreebury]

My mate Paddy's in university studying to be an arborist.

 

He's on year tree.

[Paulfreebury]

A man was in an overnight sleeper train. He got onto the top bunk, then at the next stop a woman got on the train and lay down on the bottom bunk. It was a cold night, and eventually, the woman speaks;

 

"Can I borrow a blanket please?"

 

The man replies, "I've got an idea; why don't we pretend that we're married?"

 

The woman, giggling, says, "Ok then"

 

"Good", the man says. "Get your own blanket