Jokes???

[topchippyles]

[Bolt]

Seth took his seat on the train, content that he would soon be putting the city behind him and returning to the sticks.

 

An attractive but clearly business savvy young lady took the seat opposite, rummaged through her briefcase and promptly became engaged in a well thumbed book she’d extracted.

 

As the train left the station Seth thought he’d have a little stab at making small-talk.

 

“Interesting book?” He enquired, only to suffer instant regret as she lifted it to reveal the title: Sexual Statistics.

 

Noticing him colouring up, she rather savagely responded, “Yes, it’s absolutely fascinating.  For instance, I bet you didn’t know that the Native Americans have penises with the thickest girth,or that Serbians have penises that are much longer than the average?"

 

Feeling slightly guilty that she had put the lad in an uncomfortable position, she relented and said “Sorry, that was rude of me… I’m Angela by the way”.

 

“Oh, …it’s ok… its fine” stammered Seth “My name?… It’s  Tonto Knezevic”.

[Logdaft]

[Bolt]

Put the punchline first.

 

How do you make a joke confusing?

[Logdaft]

[Logdaft]

 

[Rac man]

[Bolt]

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.

 

His bookkeeper is deaf and dumb, and for good reason - It was assumed that if Guido would hear nothing, he would never be called to testify in court.

 

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

 

The Godfather tells the lawyer,

   "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back,

  "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather,

  "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

 

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head, and says,

  "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido,

  "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs,

  "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer,

  "What did he say?"

 

The lawyer replies,

  "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"

[Rac man]

[Rac man]