woodlover2

The missus asked what I was doing on the computer. I said I was looking for cheap flights... She got all excited, which is strange as she'd never shown any interest in darts before!

My family has discovered local walks we never thought of being enjoyable before, we have discovered the country side around our home and climbed all the hills we can see that for 16 years before of living in the hills I have always thought were not possible to enjoy, before covid we would usually drive to the local not so hilly park ,canals ect for walks. Also I have had to give up smoking as I am too tight to pay UK shop prices after having duty free smoke for as long as i can remember... thanks to Covid I cannot go on my holidays to get it and neither my parents who usually go 3 times a year and bring it back for me...Tried 1 fake baky pouch and that was enough for me to stop, vaping now.

About a year ago I started drinking a shot or 2 of brandy before bed time as I had heard from numerous old people it keeps colds away , and what with covid giving people coughs and myself for as long as i can remember suffering bad coughs with common colds ect I thought I would give Brandy a go... and I am now at the age if i drink beer before bed then i need a pee in the middle of the night. Any way, after only weeks of being on the Brandy I noticed a significant improvement of my airways and sinuses ...All my life i have suffered runny noses in the morning which can make me cough and then give head aches...also related was an ear infection last January that lead to a CT scan which discovered my sinuses were blocked and stuff. A year of drinking Brandy or Whisky before bed has now seen at least 3 colds come and go without any bad cough and also had covid without a cough at all...I looked it up on-line and it would seem that some people do benefit from a little drink before bed. I spoke to my ENT specialist and he even said keep on drinking Brandy if it works for me, just do not drink too much.

The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself "She's going through the change."

I never wanted to believe that my son stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain ... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!' His wife responds, 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but had no direction. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

Since it started snowing my wife has done nothing but look through the window. If it gets much deeper I'll have to let her in!

I received a phone call from one of many gorgeous ex-girlfriends the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic". "Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit heavier than when you last saw me." She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge. "Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!" So I told her to fcuk off.

Someone went in my garden in the middle of the night and added another layer of soil. The plot thickens..

I used to have a job collecting leaves... I was raking it in 😃

Sorry to hear this. I am sure this could be resolved with the technology currently available if only the police were interested. Recently I read a BBC News article about this company Soar who allow the public to view satellite images in near on real time , basically if outside we are all being continually watched by these satellites, I think I read that they can see something as small as 50cm....So if the police got the images from the time frame the items were nicked they may see a vehicle that was used to get away from the scene of the crime. they could then follow the vehicle via the satellites or use ground cctv for the number plates once the vehicle passes a known ground cam. Maybe you could try to access these sat cams yourself? This tech is scary in that we no longer have any privacy at all outside ever again but for solving a lot of crime its a winner ... I think with drones taking statements(another article i read somewhere) and this tech the policeman/woman person will be a thing of the past in the not too distant future,they are going to turn into CCTV operators.

URGENT NEW HOME WANTED !!!!! This is bella, she’s an 8 week-old German Sheppard puppy, I bought her as a surprise for my wife for Christmas but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so I am now urgently looking to find her a new home I don't want any money just free to a good home. Her name is Angie shes 45 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, she is a great cook, good with kids and always keeps a clean house.

A local Doughnut company has just gone bust, apparently they lost interest in the whole business.

Was the previous owner bad at Darts?

A Language made me move country once...Worst mistake of my life in many ways...I was living a great life in Holland with a nice looking future and after 2 and a half years I felt it was either time to stay for ever and learn the Language, or go. I hated the sound of the Dutch Language from day one and even though every Dutch person I knew was more than happy to speak English I felt it was wrong to stay and not learn the Language, so to the North of England my Cockney self went thinking all would be good and well back in Blighty...speaking English with my fellow countryman and not feeling guilty about not learning the local lingo ect. But...I was wrong...They speak with such an accent in some parts around here that it may as well be another language, felt like a foreigner many a time... google translate is of no use up ere.

JFK blown away. Saville around at the royals on Christmas day. Epstein and Andrew enjoying the school holiday. An Alien structure on Mars is all that Buzz Aldrin is allowed to say. and why is the world turning Gay? There is nothing to see here ... lets just walk away.

I think its called a Float String?

I would build the pool to fit this... https://www.amazon.co.uk/garden-igloo-dome-weatherproof-cover/dp/B01LZVK55R/ref=asc_df_B01LZVK55R/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310172581800&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18234376498484840091&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006941&hvtargid=pla-697278961843&psc=1

Trespassing is not a crime according to this bloke on utube who usually knows what he is talking about.