AHPP

How dare you trivialise the nation's grief. Consider arbtalk cancelled.

I can still remember mum coming into my bedroom to tell me about Lady Di. She honestly made a bigger thing of it than when granny died.

Raising a glass to the people’s princess tonight. Raise one with me or you’re a big meanie.

Smashing sketch. I didn't think I was being facaetious btw. I was serious. There's an above average chance of somesuch silly shit occurring.

If you don't like that, I suspect you won't like the next game where the players kneel or throw black power salutes for him.

Still in near daily use. Still in drop D. Still on the strings it came with! Still sounds good.

I like to think Big J would chime in around now to remind us it only rains Dom Pérignon in Sweden but alas, it seems he's gone. Was it the darkies or motorists he didn't like on here?

Two good points. I don't care about the lead. I'm indestructible. Never memorably found any steel shot in a bird. Would care if I did though. My teeth aren't indestructible.

Twenty years ago (jesus christ...) three of us went out in Ipswich. I went home with a girl to help her put up some shelves. My mates went to a nightclub. Six the next morning I skulk back to my mate's house to pick up my work stuff. Rather than finding them peacefully abed, I find chaos. My mate's mum is shouting at my other mate through the bathroom door. Apparently they'd both been doing this for a while. I effected entry and discovered said mate had been sitting on the loo until he passed out and blocked the door with his head. The mess was horrific. I can recall it now with all of my senses. I wish I couldn't. Being christmas, I wrapped him in swaddling clothes (all the towels), bundled him into the bath and declared my involvement over. His mum and dad had to come and collect him and his car that afternoon, where he still wasn't capable of much. He swore blind his drink was spiked.

I'd be interested in your opinion if you didn't make a two-ingredient foodstuff from a packet. And Joe's being nice for once. Let's all just enjoy that for five or ten minutes.

Happy to report the Arktis B310 is still waterproof after 14 months. Even happier to report I've just sunk a big glass of sherry.

Anyone who can keep booze without drinking it clearly hasn't understood the gravity of the situation.

Bastards. Rain it is.

Why not both?

I’m listening to the freezing rain on the window and staring down the barrel of a night with no drink or getting wet walking to the shop. Nobody’s been on the beveragino thread for a while. Bloody muslims.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaaGZFQBocqRmuaRVlXih2bwhZtQlJgBc&si=71dGfEuomesmZQ3T

Should be a link to a playlist of the whole show. Should that fail, search for Portishead Roseland. Sublime.

I love them. Was a bit nervous when I saw the cover. Could have easily been terrible. I’d love a fourth Portishead album. They could call it ‘Sorry.’

Brass Against (formerly Brass Against the Machine) are best known for Rage Against the Machine covers. They’ve branched out a few times though. Their latest: How good is that!

Back on top.

Recipe, singular. Don marigolds and proceed to driveway. Tear bird in half. Crop and neck out, guts out, peel it. Chop the feet and wings off. Don’t wash it. Food hygiene is for cowards. Into a pan (I’ve been using a pressure cooker recently) and loads of water. Boil fck out of it for hours. Add water if necessary. When done, take the meat out and put it somewhere where your dog won’t steal it. Add a tin of coconut milk to the stock. Fry onions in a wide pan, ideally in lard or dripping. I sometimes salt and sugar them while frying. Add the holy trinity to the fry: garlic, chili, ginger. Once it’s all done, push it to the edge. Add more fat, probably butter, to the clear bit of pan. Fry coarsely ground black pepper, garam masala, cumin and turmeric in that until you’re dribbling like Zed in the tear gas chamber in Police Academy. Flood the onions with the stock + coconut milk. Hope the meat has cooled down enough. Pull it off the bones (a lot will have fallen off if you cook it long enough - like hours plural) and add to the mix. The legs have fcking annoying little bones in. There’s a reason Tesco sells chickens and not pheasants. Put the bones somewhere where your dog won’t eat them. When he does eat them, worry for 48 hours that this is the time his luck runs out. Hysterics will tell you dogs sever their innards and die if they eat cooked bones. Sailor once ate the cooked bones of about fifteen pheasants in one sitting. He’s subsequently eaten cooked bones of all sorts, ten or twelve times. Never been a problem. But Sailor is the sort of dog who, if he was a man, would do his own dentistry and sell ferrets to schoolchildren. Take that for what it’s worth. Serve from now until the pheasants run out. Squeeze of lemon really lifts the whole thing. Fresh parsley too. If you want pheasants in the feather, you can get any number from shoots from October until February. Facebook groups (national and regional) called ‘Giving Up the Game.’ Take them or they’ll end up in the bin. Roast pheasant is shit. If it was good, Tesco would sell them. But they don’t. They sell chicken, pork, lamb and beef, which are good. “Oh but game is so healthy and rustic and, like, so part of the rural zeitgeist, yah.” Fck off. It’s free and you might have had some sport getting it. Same for venison. I’d rather have beef but you can’t shoot wild cows here and they’re heavy. The thing pheasant does have going for it is the fabulous yellow fat. You get more of it on the hens than the cocks. Velvety and rich and well camouflaged by the turmeric for any queers who think fat is bad for them. It also mostly stays with the meat. Unlike a duck, where you have to fck on with keeping the skin (plucking etc) if you want the fat.

Man plans, Gaia laughs.

For anyone not familiar with my politics, my sense of humour or taxes in England, VAT is a consumption tax and is already on brakes and tyres (and booze and fags). The more people wear out tyres and brakes, the more money the government gets. They're pro pollution. So I very obviously don't want more tax on tyres and brake pads. It wouldn't help anyway. No amount of money would. In fact it would increase pollution, people having to scurry about performing more economic activity to pay the higher tax. Between warfare, its other pointless and destructive activities and causing people to work excessively, the state is the worst polluter we have. Tax freedom day is the point in the year where you stop working to pay tax and start keeping what you earn. It falls later and later every year. This year it was 12th June. Imagine all the tyre and brake dust from those 162 out of 365 days simply not existing because people were at home instead. Now that's an environmental good.