Bob Slade

Rob D used to sell them, i got one some years ago and it has saved me loads of grief. If a tree has come out of a hedge row or can almost guarantee it has been used as a fence post

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.' The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.' The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.' The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?' One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?' The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.' The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.' The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'*

A bloke goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulled out a large syringe and was about to give him an anaesthetic shot. "No way, no needles! I hate needles!" the bloke said. So she started to hook up the nitrous oxide tank, and he said, "And I can't do the gas thing, just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me! The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill. "No," he says, "I'm fine with pills." The dentist gave him two little blue pills and he swallowed them. "What are those?" he asked. "Viagra," she replied. "I'll be damned," said the patient, "I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer." "It doesn't," said the dentist, "But it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth out."

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked, "So which six items would you like to buy?

Where are you based?

Sign of the times. Every time i go out in my truck i have the go pro on and a recording app on the phone called Routeshoot. It records time, speed and location in 15 min recordings.

I use a couple of planks, each 6" x 1 3/4" x 9'. simply build a bridge using these planks to the height and length you need and then slide the ladder along as you mill. remember to pack under the planks to stop sag and vibration.

At the moment Garden4less are doing a Fiskars X27 for an unbelievable price of £42.50.:thumbup:

After a lifetime wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were, son" his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back".

Murphy drops a slice buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to the church to fetch Father Flanagan. He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. He won't say what it is, so he asks Father Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes. He leads Father Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor. "Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then they flipped it over so that t he butter was on top." "No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy "Oh my Lord," says Father Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It must be miracle. Wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc." After 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling. "It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Yet the Holy Ones must be very cautious before ruling a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out. Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared that it is 'No Miracle' They think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side.

I've only used it a few times but it seems ok. i rechecked your post and mine is the XA 3 not the XA23. mine has the shorter handle.As a freebie i can't grumble, it saved me forking out a load of Euro donks for one.

Yes I've got one, it was given to me by a friend in France in part payment for some tree work. i find it very light and the handle is too smooth so there is a tendency for it to fly out of your hand. I've countered this by putting a cricket bat rubber handle sleeve on it. it feels much safer in the hand now.

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this October from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs (or B..M) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth". Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained "I sympathise with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting afterlife benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up". Spokespersons for the BOOM union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales, New Zealand and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are no virgins in their areas anyway. According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the popularity of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit package.

When I was in the pub I heard a couple of blokes saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse it!

A Royal Navy Destroyer stops four immigrants in a boat, rowing towards Brighton . The captain gets on the loud hailer and shouts :"Ahoy, small craft, where are you heading?" One of the immigrants stands up and shouts,"We are invading England !" The crew of the Destroyer all start laughing and when the captain finally stops laughing, he gets back on the loud hailer and says "Just the four of you?" The immigrant stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there"

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral... _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. Unlike

A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over and asked, "Are all those kids yours?" He replied, "No I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints".

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."

Bad news that Nick Gibbs, editor of British Woodworking and Living Woods magazine has suffered serious head injuries in a cycle crash. Nick has been the leading light in popular woodworking journalism for many years and lets hope he continues. Best wishes to his family and him for a full recovery. Nick is a really great bloke and a friend of mine.

One morning a man comes into church on crutches. He stops In front of the holy water and splashes some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the episode and runs into the Rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. Without batting an eye, the priest says, 'Son, you've just witnessed a miracle. Tell me,where is this man? 'Flat on his arse, Father, over by the holy water.'

How many will nick this There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?" The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?" The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis." The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!"

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge... "I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work.... The ass hole is usually in charge

Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois, bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey baby......whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?" She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!" While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?" So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one. After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing like a girl." It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

Done and shared on FB

Hi Tim, as Alec says it would work but take it slowly. You could get a 24" mill and leave the end riser off, this would give you a bit more stability and if at a later date you do get a bigger saw and bar you would only have to buy the rails and not a complete mill.