Story at bedtime

[the village idiot]

Chapter 7: Doomed.

 

 

Dog Food, not a moment soon

Picked a likely looking spoon.

And feeling just a little stressed

He bailed just like a horse posessed!

 

The idiot chose his favourite ladle,

Bestowed on him whilst still in cradle,

Gifted by a kindly Druid

And mighty fine for shifting fluid!

 

With water ingress so severe,

Our hero's had no time to steer.

The wind had got them at her whim,

Their future here was looking grim!

 

Six days on and all but sunk,

Beneath the hull they heard a clunk!

"My friend, believe me when I say,

We live to fight another day!"

 

Dog Food knew not what to say,

Emotive words were not his way.

For six long nights he hadn't slept,

He leaned into his friend and wept!.

 

The 'Like a Stone' had come to land,

Upon a beach of jet black sand.

And by coincidence indeed,

They'd pitched up by a sign to read!

 

WELCOME TO THE ISLE OF DOOM!

A LAND OF DARK OPRESSIVE GLOOM!

DWELL YE LONG- WITH LIFE YOU'LL PAY.

WE DO HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY!

 

One mile wide and one mile deep,

With pitch black cliffs, insanely steep,

The Isle of Doom, like Coventry,

Was not a happy place to be!

 

Atop a craggy hill due West,

A pair of dwellings there did rest.

One was pretty, green and white,

The other grim and black as night!

 

A path towards the homesteads led,

Along it our two friends did tread.

And what was to become their fate?

You'll have to wait for Chapter 8!

 

 

To be continued...

 

[Mesterh]

Sorry Mesterh, these clothes are all I have!

 

I could take them off if you'd prefer?

 

No thanks, carry on.

 

[the village idiot]

Last bit of sillyness for the weekend:001_rolleyes:

 

Chapter 8: Apple Crumble.

 

 

If the Witch was here to find,

Then surely she would dwell behind

The door which barred their entry to

The house on which black ivy grew?

 

The house was dark and grimly creepy,

Radiating evil deeply,

Atop the porch there sat a Crow.

The garden let no flowers grow.

 

From the bag the axe was drawn

As they advanced across the lawn.

He rang the bell with hand a quaking

And caught a pleasant whiff of baking?

 

As the door was opened slow,

The axe was raised to strike a blow.

"Oh joy! A knife to cut my toffee,

Won't you gentlemen stay for coffee?"

 

Beyond the door a woman stood,

The shape of a hearty Christmas Pud.

An apron hung around her hips,

A friendly smile caressed her lips.

 

"Are you the Witch, devoid of charm,

Inflicting Badgers with great harm,

Who revels in all blood and gore?"

"Oh no my dear, she lives next door!"

 

"Come on in love, don't be shy,

I'll warm you up some Apple Pie!

Your horse looks like he's half way gone

I bet he'd like a nice fresh scone!"

 

"I really am most sad to say,

You've missed the Witch by just one day!

Gerty left with a plan in mind,

To wipe out all of humankind."

 

The idiot gawped in disbelief.

"This evil plan gives you no grief?"

"Good gracious no" said Apple Crumble,

"When life gets tough one mustn't grumble,"

 

The day had proved a gruelling test,

Our hero's were in need of rest.

As stomach's both began to rumble,

They gave themselves to Mrs. Crumble.

 

 

To be continued...

[the village idiot]

Chapter 9: Tea for three.

 

 

The home of Mrs Apple Crumble,

Was what one might describe a jumble,

With pots and pans up to the rafters,

Presumably for baking afters.

 

Every shelf that they could see,

Was filled with fine patisserie

A trifle sat on every stair,

The smell of cake mix filled the air!

 

"Now sit down boys and tell your tale,

My guess is that you came by sail?

I'll fetch some treats, then you'll feel better,

Are you fond of Vienetta?

 

Of the Witch he spoke with care,

Pausing for a cream eclair.

"My my" said Crumble, mind a'whirl,

"She seemed like such a lovely girl!"

 

"She left by broom a day ago,

To the land of Ice and snow.

Her aim is to bestow on man

Annihilation.. Raspberry Flan?"

 

"I think" The Idiot told his host,

Spitting crumbs of raisin toast,

"We must make haste and boldly go,

To this land of which of know!"

 

Said Apple Crumble "I'd love to!

It's many years past that I flew.

The baking's fun, I can't deny,

But really I was born to fly!"

 

She fumbled under where she sat,

And unearthed an old Biggles hat.

With goggles on she looked absurd,

"Come out back and meet the bird!"

 

Behind the house a short path led,

To an old and leaky shed.

Crumble led them both inside,

Hit the lights and beamed with pride.

 

Within the shed, now bathed in light,

Swung an enormous paper kite.

Below it, strapped on good and proper,

Hung an old red Raleigh Chopper!

 

 

To be continued...

 

 

 

[MaxwellArb]

Raleigh chopper? I had one of them!!! Excellent behaviour. Carry on, do..

[the village idiot]

Chapter 10: Pie in the sky.

 

 

"Hello, this is your captain speaking,

I've done all the required tweaking.

Your flight includes some home baked treats,

Now please could passengers take their seats."

 

Mrs Crumble, face abeam

Was acting out her childhood dream.

She wisely chose to not explain,

She'd never actually flown a plane!

 

The Idiot squeezed behind Miss Crumble,

Dog Food sighed a horsey grumble,

Thanking not his lucky stars

As he climbed aboard the handlebars!

 

With Mrs Crumble's legs a blur,

The well oiled chain began to purr.

Dog Food could not help but cry,

As they lifted off into the sky!

 

The flight was not at all serene,

With Dog Food turning white then green

As Mrs Crumble, cock a hoop,

Insisted on a loop the loop!

 

The mid flight meal of Banana custard

Was from concealed thermos mustered.

Dog Food ejected his Pavlova,

During the third straight up and over!

 

The thing that really took it's toll

Was the daring barrell roll!

Dog Food's mind, already tainted

Gave up the good fight and fainted!

 

At last the flight was almost through,

A white landscape came into view.

Crumble, currant bun in hand,

Brought the aircraft in to land.

 

Here she made a big mistake,

Forgetting to apply the brake!

The three man aeronautics show

Concluded in a drift of snow!

 

Dog Food woke up from his doze,

And cleared the snow out from his nose.

Crumble asked, as well she might,

"I do hope you enjoyed the flight!"

 

 

To be continued...

 

 

 

[mendiplogs]

Chapter 10: Pie in the sky.

 

 

"Hello, this is your captain speaking,

I've done all the required tweaking.

Your flight includes some home baked treats,

Now please could passengers take their seats."

 

Mrs Crumble, face abeam

Was acting out her childhood dream.

She wisely chose to not explain,

She'd never actually flown a plane!

 

The Idiot squeezed behind Miss Crumble,

Dog Food sighed a horsey grumble,

Thanking not his lucky stars

As he climbed aboard the handlebars!

 

With Mrs Crumble's legs a blur,

The well oiled chain began to purr.

Dog Food could not help but cry,

As they lifted off into the sky!

 

The flight was not at all serene,

With Dog Food turning white then green

As Mrs Crumble, cock a hoop,

Insisted on a loop the loop!

 

The mid flight meal of Banana custard

Was from concealed thermos mustered.

Dog Food ejected his Pavlova,

During the third straight up and over!

 

The thing that really took it's toll

Was the daring barrell roll!

Dog Food's mind, already tainted

Gave up the good fight and fainted!

 

At last the flight was almost through,

A white landscape came into view.

Crumble, currant bun in hand,

Brought the aircraft in to land.

 

Here she made a big mistake,

Forgetting to apply the brake!

The three man aeronautics show

Concluded in a drift of snow!

 

Dog Food woke up from his doze,

And cleared the snow out from his nose.

Crumble asked, as well she might,

"I do hope you enjoyed the flight!"

 

 

To be continued...

 

 

 

Hi mate please can you do one on the weather it feels like it's going to rip the roof off here tonight I need a good bedtime story to step send me to sleep or plenty of cider thanks John

[the village idiot]

Hi mate please can you do one on the weather it feels like it's going to rip the roof off here tonight I need a good bedtime story to step send me to sleep or plenty of cider thanks John

 

 

A good friend of us all called Jon

Was worried about his roof staying on

 

Whilst Sonia sat to do her knitting

Jon hung from the lightbulb fitting

 

A gust of great proportion blew

Took the roof and poor Jon too!

 

The wind took him across the sea

"Now where's the best Steak in Italy?":thumbup:

[mendiplogs]

A good friend of us all called Jon

Was worried about his roof staying on

 

Whilst Sonia sat to do her knitting

Jon hung from the lightbulb fitting

 

A gust of great proportion blew

Took the roof and poor Jon too!

 

The wind took him across the sea

"Now where's the best Steak in Italy?":thumbup:

 

Hi mate that's great mate nice one thanks Jon

[the village idiot]

Chapter 11: Lumber Jack.

 

 

Miss Crumble said unto her friends,

"This is where my journey ends.

It's high time folks that I was gone,

I fear I left the oven on!"

 

"Right Dog Food" said Idiot, freezing

Between bouts of consistent sneezing.

"Use your nose as it is meant,

And pick up evil Gerty's scent."

 

"Alas my friend, the answer's no!

My nostrils are both full of snow!

Unless I clear my nose of junk,

I couldn't even track a Skunk!"

 

Said Idiot, "I'll fix you soon,

Have a Mentholyptus Tune.

Wait a moment and you'll see,

It will help you breathe more easily!"

 

Dog Food sucked upon the sweet,

And do you know? It worked a treat!

Past the Idiot Dog Food barged,

His nostrils now both turbocharged!

 

Through a storm of hail and sleet,

They followed scent of Gerty's feet.

After a mile, nothing more,

They heard the buzzing of a saw!

 

In a stand of Douglas Fir,

Toiled a stocky forester.

Felling quickly every tree,

With his 346 xp!

 

With arms as broad as they were long,

The woodman looked immensely strong!

The chisled chin upon this man,

Put them in mind of Desperate Dan!

 

His skilful work on every tree,

Meant they all fell perfectly.

There's nothing that infuriates,

Like a tree hung up in mates!

 

Noticing Idiot and Dog Food,

He approached them in a jolly mood.

And clapping them upon the back,

Said "Howdy chaps, I'm Lumber Jack!"

 

 

To be continued...