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Slightly eccentric "Lord of the manor"


wisecobandit
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Today ive been looking back over the many years ive been involved with my "local lord" so to speak (5000 acres) . Now ive known him for some 30 years being involved with the shoot and minor upkeep and being lucky enough to have free rein on most of the wind etc fallen trees despite it being forested.

Ive been chuckling away to myself remembering things that have happened over the years where hes involved.

Earliest memories where as a young teanager, Hugh Heffner's playboy team doing photoshoots there whilst on a shoot day..

Top bosses from the t.v "discovery" channel came in for some shoot days which opened up several t.v programs about him including" how clean is your house" with Kim and Aggie and a "shoot vehicle" being made in that program involving the indian guy and the Londoner which basically bodged cars together. Im sure someone will remember the name...

In the programs fully admitting in one to losing his virginity to a prostitute and another throwing the kids tv in the lake because they watched it to much.

Over the years ive been sent to look in the woods to look for his Purdey simply because hes propped it up against a tree whilst gas bagging to other guns and not remembered until at the next shoot wood his guns abscent!

Opened a country store and was given a £250 shooting stick only to mislay it on the first shoot day and not miss it until weeks later which involved walking back over all the shoot woods for that particular day trying to find it.

Managed to drive 400 motorway miles in 4 wheel drive only to have the gearbox blow up on the estate drive 1/2 mile from home and when queried said "well it was smelling a bit hot all the way there and back" :lol:

I reckon I pick up 10 pruning hand saws a year he loses around the various woods each year when hes on his ivy missions hacking it off every tree he finds with some on. Im sure I pick up exactly the same ones in the same places the following year and hand back to him once again!

Was once asked to be his chaffuer as he likes a tipple or 10 (in his younger years had a driving ban for it) and take him to an upper class ball. So him and the wife jump in the land cruiser and first thing I hear is his wife arguing with him about how his dinner suit has a moth eaten hole in the collar to which the reply "ive had this f*cking suit for 20 years and it will last me another 20.. now shut up woman!" of which just escalated over the 50 mile journey to the point i sunk in the seat, kept looking forward and kept quiet..

 

Anyway I could go on and on but you would all fall asleep :001_tt2:

So who else has similar storys as im sure im not the only one.

Edited by wisecobandit
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Worked on an estate a lot of years ago and the cheoufur was told to fill the car up with petrol which he did untill it cut out at which point he started to take the nozzel out only to be told it's not full so he squeezed the trigger and petrol went all over the floor, it's full now he was told.

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Not so much a Lord of the Manor but a true tale of my local village rugby team who went on tour to Norfolk.

 

Come the time to get the bus home, the bus is present, unlocked with the keys in it but no driver. He had last been seen several hours earlier somewhat the worse for wear.

 

Cut a long story short one of the farmers on the tour drove the bus home, dropped off all the players at their houses and returned the coach to the local garage which was also owned by the coach operator. Locked the coach up and put the keys through the letter box.

 

Next morning driver rings the owner to tell him his bus has been stolen, the owner told him that the bus was in fact parked perfectly on his forecourt undamaged with keys in letterbox.

 

Driver fired and told to find his own way back.

 

A

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Read book about this called

" you've done what my lord? " about toffs doing odd stuff written by his land agent

 

Remember him ringing up and demanding quarter of million to buy flat underneath his London pad, because they were cooking curry and he didn't like the smell.....

 

Guess he's made money on that one.......

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Today ive been looking back over the many years ive been involved with my "local lord" so to speak (5000 acres) . Now ive known him for some 30 years being involved with the shoot and minor upkeep and being lucky enough to have free rein on most of the wind etc fallen trees despite it being forested.

Ive been chuckling away to myself remembering things that have happened over the years where hes involved.

Earliest memories where as a young teanager, Hugh Heffner's playboy team doing photoshoots there whilst on a shoot day..

Top bosses from the t.v "discovery" channel came in for some shoot days which opened up several t.v programs about him including" how clean is your house" with Kim and Aggie and a "shoot vehicle" being made in that program involving the indian guy and the Londoner which basically bodged cars together. Im sure someone will remember the name...

In the programs fully admitting in one to losing his virginity to a prostitute and another throwing the kids tv in the lake because they watched it to much.

Over the years ive been sent to look in the woods to look for his Purdey simply because hes propped it up against a tree whilst gas bagging to other guns and not remembered until at the next shoot wood his guns abscent!

Opened a country store and was given a £250 shooting stick only to mislay it on the first shoot day and not miss it until weeks later which involved walking back over all the shoot woods for that particular day trying to find it.

Managed to drive 400 motorway miles in 4 wheel drive only to have the gearbox blow up on the estate drive 1/2 mile from home and when queried said "well it was smelling a bit hot all the way there and back" :lol:

I reckon I pick up 10 pruning hand saws a year he loses around the various woods each year when hes on his ivy missions hacking it off every tree he finds with some on. Im sure I pick up exactly the same ones in the same places the following year and hand back to him once again!

Was once asked to be his chaffuer as he likes a tipple or 10 (in his younger years had a driving ban for it) and take him to an upper class ball. So him and the wife jump in the land cruiser and first thing I hear is his wife arguing with him about how his dinner suit has a moth eaten hole in the collar to which the reply "ive had this f*cking suit for 20 years and it will last me another 20.. now shut up woman!" of which just escalated over the 50 mile journey to the point i sunk in the seat, kept looking forward and kept quiet..

 

Anyway I could go on and on but you would all fall asleep :001_tt2:

So who else has similar storys as im sure im not the only one.

 

Wasn't there a series about im and his family? I am sure I remember the TV bit and the lake - bloody hilarious and was the epitomy of English Gentry. Seemed a nice bloke:lol:

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That was it chop shop. Was the white Volvo estate.

 

Don't think there was a series as such spud but several double episodes etc

Another was country house rescue or whatever it was but in the end he told them to f*ck off. Another program called "The F*cking fulfords" because every other word he uses is a swear word.

 

Yet to be fair hes down to earth, fair and one of the nicest blokes you will ever meet yet quite happy to pinch my backy and make a rolly.....

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