Jokes???

[Logdaft]

[Doug Tait]

She never used to fart, always complained about others doing it, then I explained that when you don't fart when you feel the need your body reabsorbs the waste gasses into the bloodstream, they are expelled through the lungs and you breath it out.

Dog breath.

Now the wind blows free with her too!

[PeteB]

I loved the story about a women who, for many years, had cupped husbands ball bag going to sleep as he told her to keep them away from his bum otherwise, the snoring would be pretty intense as the excess gases could not flow freely with his sac blocking the route. She only found out that he was joking when other girls in the office where complaining about their partners snoring and she explained how she cured it!

[Mick Dempsey]

19 minutes ago, PeteB said:

I loved the story about a women who, for many years, had cupped husbands ball bag going to sleep as he told her to keep them away from his bum otherwise, the snoring would be pretty intense as the excess gases could not flow freely with his sac blocking the route. She only found out that he was joking when other girls in the office where complaining about their partners snoring and she explained how she cured it!

 

[Mick Dempsey]

[Stool master]

[WirralBoy]

[WirralBoy]

[sime42]

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.
Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.

 

 

[waterbuoy]