Earthquake!!

[brownie1964]

I had just got into bed and the house shook. I did experience the one in 1984 and one last year in Egypt, the epicentre for that one was in Jordan and that measured 7.6... Now that shook the hotel I was in, couldnt stay on my feet, and it was not down to the local cheep Ale they served..

[b101uk]

DISASTER IN BURTON ON TRENT

An Appeal For Your Help.

 

A major earthquake measuring 5.1 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

Epicentre: Burton on Trent, England.

 

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the towns 35,000 racing pigeons,as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "Fookinhell" and "Choofinnorah".

 

The earthquake decimated the town causing £30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics Isles and the Spanish Costas were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed.

 

Many locals were awoken well before their Giro's arrived.

Radio Burton reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Burton.

One resident,15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning". Locals were determined not to be bowed as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.

 

So far the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals.

Rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and bone china from Pound stretcher.

 

 

CAN YOU HELP?

Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing

for the victims of this disaster.

 

Clothing is needed most of all, especially

- Fila or Burberry baseball caps

- Kappa tracksuit tops ( His or Hers )

- Shell suits ( Female )

- White sports socks

- Rockfort boots or any other product sold in Primark

 

Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your efforts will make a difference.

Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice cream and cans of colt 45 or special brew are ideal.

Please do not give anything that requires peeling.

 

Remember

- 22p buys a Biro for filling in compensation claims

- £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9

- £5 will buy a packet of Benson and Hedges and a lighter to calm a child's nerves

 

Urgently Required: Tinned Whippet food and bones for Jack Russels.

 

Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding South Derbyshire communities.

 

[Andy Collins]

:rofl:

[Dean Lofthouse]

[brownie1964]

LMAO :rofl:

[Mr Ed]

I remember the 1984 'quake, 5.4 and the epicentre about 10 miles from where we lived. pretty scary at the time.

[Alasdair]

never felt a thing up here. didnt even know about it until 9 tonight or something.

[arbgarry]

never felt a thing up here. didnt even know about it until 9 tonight or something.

 

Same with me, seen it on the 9am news.